Kindness vs stupidity? How to be safe of getting defrauded?



I recently got cheated in the name of help.. this guy was asking for money to reach his home/hospital stating he was having some medical emergency there... He didn't have any money for petrol/stay etc ... It was also raining.. He told me he'd return my money as soon as he reached there....

<{ i sensed something fishy as i had earlier lost money once while buying something from a guy who asked me  to pay first and he'll courier but he never did.}>

But i fail to be logical usually when such situations arise.... Probably I'm foolish instead of kind.... Some of my family elders always warn me of being too much.

So this guy also took 1.5k from me... and he didn't return the money even after the time he'd promised... So I decided to call him... And yes, you guessed it right, he didn't pick up the call or other times was switched off.

If it were my earned money .. i would not be bothered much ... But it was my parents'..!!! 

 [Though problems have never occured in non-monetary helps i try to do to others .... But situation is not so good when we do monetary things outside of family/osme family/friends.]

 How can we decide whether other person is in genuine trouble or a fraud ?... And how to be kind and not fool??

7 Answers

I a medium to help many needy and maybe out of 20 ,2 maybe misusing the money but for that i can t stop helping 18 others,still seeing authentic hospital papers,fee bills or medical priscription and directly paying to tutor, hospital or chemist are a great tool.


I think following your gut instinct is the best way to go about it. 
Try to read  this post by Om Swami.



If I had the ability to choose, personally, I think I would choose to live as a kind hearted fool than a Shrewd-minded Cynic.

My teacher has said "Everything on earth is of mixed character, like a mingling of sand and sugar. Be like the wise ant which seizes only the sugar, and leaves the sand untouched".  It is very true in that it truly takes all kinds of people to make up a world.  When you decide to give something be it money or whatever else to someone, especially when dealing with a total random stranger, the probability that person will return the item back to you is very very slim at the outset. You have to accept that fact right at the beginning and be comfortable with it. Otherwise, it is best to not part with your property and instead just walk away.  

Also, many times we have no idea whats going on in someones life such that its almost impossible to determine the true motivations behind someones actions. So, it's also good to reserve judgment and not come to the conclusion that you were intentionally suckered by this person. One more thing, you are no fool for giving, instead you just need to be a little forgiving towards yourself. When you give something, give it in good faith (like you have), and leave the judgments in the hands of the divine. The money you lost here may very well come back into your life many folds higher through a different avenue in the near future!  Maybe the divine was helping that person get the money he badly needed at a critical time through you.  Perhaps only a trusting good-hearted person like you would have given him the money at that moment without question, so you were chosen as the medium through which he was helped.  Only the divine knows what was going through that persons mind, but you know what was going through yours. You were moved by a desire to help a person in need and you did so.  For this, you will be karmically rewarded perhaps monetarily or otherwise. Leave that to the divine. No need to feel resentful, though I very well understand your frustration. My only suggestion for the future is to give with the feeling that you may not get it back again.  As a living being we cannot take anything with us in the end, so giving is all we can hope to do. So continue giving, and try as much as you can to give with no strings attached. This applies especially to strangers. If you are not comfortable with that idea, then re-consider.


Bhaiya what I do, I'm a student so I don't have my own money, I can be nice to someone by words and actions. Any help with money I can't do, I don't even donate because I'm not earning, but I do with earnings, use for sadhana, some self retreat and donation because that's something I have worked for. So it's my way. Avoid such situations for the time being you start earning atleast 70k per month.


"Ulatā Nāmu Japata Jagu Jaanā,

Bālmīki Bhae Brahma Samānā "

Adi Kavi Bālmīki by  repeatedly chanting  divine name "Ram"  in reverse order ultimately reached the actual Pronunciation of Ram.. Ram..Ram.. 

Kindness or Stupidity?

If one's intention is Right  with proper Resolve and mindfulness - One shall verily Get the Answer. 


Well well well, we have to be judicious and surely can't stop being kind.

You just have to be on a back foot at times, try checking the authenticity, and pay the main service provider. Generally, when CASH is given, we don't know how it will be used. If your intent is to help with a certain thing, say food, education, clothes, medicine, etc.

So get those things with your money and give those things to the needy.

Steadily things will fall in place and you will also learn to see the fake ones, as you mature in the path. Yes we may fail at times, pray and move on 🙂

Wishes for your growth and compassion.


What we do is our karma. What others do is their karma. And every karma brings fruit for sure as per the motive behind the actions. So go on doing good things.... You will get the rewards/ merits. Cheater will be punished for sure for his bad karma. So neki kar aur kueme daal... 😊🙏

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