How to not get irritated at other people's provocation?


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We all have a few people in our lives whose super power is getting on other people's nerves. Most of the interactions with such people always leave a bad after taste. Unfortunately  if due to certain circumstances we cannot get rid of such people from our lives, how should we deal with them so that our peace of mind is not disturbed?!

13 Answers
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Hi Ahana, It takes all kinds of people to make up a world! Furthermore, people seldom see the world as it is, they only see it as they are. This also means people tend to look at you through the lens of their personal biases and life experiences, which may have nothing whatsoever to do with you. I believe this is what is meant by what Jesus said on the cross " Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they are doing". Understanding is what will end conflicts once and for all. If a mentally ill person hurls the choicest of profanity-laden abuses at you, will it ruin your day? I suspect not so much because you will instantly see them through your understanding that they in fact are helpless victims of their health-condition. Similarly, the people who get under our skin, are also victims of their mental, emotional and social conditioning. They may very well be set in their patterns for the remainder of this lifetime of theirs and are unlikely to change. If you accept mentally that any expectation of change to occur on their part maybe futile, the only source of change then can come from your end! If you can see with clarity that even the so called conscious or willful actions performed by people may in fact be rooted in deep unconscious biases and societal conditioning that has been imposed upon them since their childhood, their presence around you or their spiteful words or actions will slowly lose their bite and become more blunted and eventually  will have no impact at all on you. You will be able to see them and then see through them and finally see past them! Hope you feel better 🙂 ! 

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Whatever we don’t understand, we tend to dislike. Make an attempt to understand them, their perspective and you might surprise yourself! 

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Dear Ahana, This is a problem where anyone can liberally give some ideas but can miserably fail to implement and am no exception. Yet i will give my working ideas. First and most importantly i try to move away from the situation and if that's not possible make a vow that i will not open my mouth till internal surge of emotions come to reasonable control. Second, which is my own method, is to imagine the other person who is disturbing me as a funny animal like a rabbit/crow/puppy just making non sense sounds in a funny way. Sometimes it helps in taking things in a lighter way though the actual scenario is completely different. Hope it helps you. Good luck

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Don't talk to them frequently... I mean don't extend talks... Simply, speak less.

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Swami ji says, when someone triggers you, first of all, ask yourself who are you irritated at? Secondly carefully choose your response. After you've decided how you want to respond, let sometime pass before you convey it. The more attached you are, the greater the anger.

It is highly important to have boundaries in any relationship, for it is to flourish. 

And I would like to add to it, by practicing self restraint as well as a sense of extraordinary acceptance. Because it will give peace instantly.

I hope this helps.🌼

Jai Sri Hari 🙏

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My Solution To This Problem Is :

इस कान से सुना और उस कान से निकाल दिया।

GO IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER.

See, You can't win this situation by arguing back or by involving in it. So, Just don't care. 

I just act that I am listening to them or giving attention but at the same time I can't even remember one thing they said because I never paid attention on the first hand.

It will not be all of a sudden but as you try one or two times, You will learn this.

In the beginning adapting to this was difficult for me also but after two, three tries, Now I am good with it.

Jai Shri Hari....

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Don't take it personally, because it truly is not.

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Take care of your mind. Ultimately that's what really matters. ♥️

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Hi Ahima,,

Getting irritated sometimes you can't help😀 Please don't act or speak when you are irritated. Accept you are irritated and don't judge ☺️🙏 Jai Sri Hari 💕🙏 Good day 🤗

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Dear Ahana 

Here is a fun thought experiment for this problem. Meditate on a Lotus. Be like the lotus flower ….. beautiful untouched even among the dirt. Maybe you can visualise yourself as the lotus so that everything just rolls off you leaving you pure and pristine. 😊

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Use KBN(Koi Baat Nahi) mantra! for whatever their act that's irritating. Sometimes the irritation may surpass this mantra's power, at such times awareness helps, and at times even if awareness slips, be ready for the consequence. 

Asking yourself what matters most to you? Peace and productivity or giving it back and being disturbed mentally - physically and losing time, energy and productivity. God bless!

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I mostly avoide these people 😌

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By spending more time with those you dislike with the determination to stop disliking them...come what may..any negative emotions that arise are not to be carried forward..and by trying to put yourself in their shoes to understand if you yourself at fault..having mastered these you may then choose to simply opt for better company.

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