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How to remain 'Attached yet Detached'?

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I personally believe, although I don’t have sufficient wisdom to prove my thoughts true, that it all narrows down to a key component- self-control.

Why do we attach ourselves to something or someone? We find it/them pleasant. Similarly, we detach ourselves from all that we find unpleasant. When we start liking something excessively, it is called an addiction.

in the autumn season, it is warm, yet cool. Neither hot, nor cold. You feel cold if the fan is turned on too fast, yet sweat when turned off. What do you do?

You put it at a medium speed.

I feel if we want to be attachedly detached, the extremes can never be the completely right choice. Writing with a pencil is a better choice than inking it or not writing at all.

of course, you may choose to be detached from my answer. But I’d suggest the middle path 😀

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Why do you wanna be both attached and detached?! Why be this or that?! How about just be nothing....neither attached, nor detached......just nothing! 

😉 

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I think attachment arises due to the need to fill in a gap. To be detached means to be okay with something and be okay without it too. And detachment doesn’t mean you stop loving the person. It only means that you give them the freedom to be who and how they want to be.

So how to do that? By understanding that the other person has a life of their own and giving them the freedom to be as they wish, yet being there for them and vice versa.

I think:)

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Swami Vivekananda in his lectures on Karma Yoga - Work and its Secret, & The Secret of Work,  shares on this.

Bhagavad Gita speaks about Non-attachment to work.

While working on something, work with full-hearted devotion,  but accept the outcome in complete surrender. While loving someone, love them unconditionally.

Easier said than done, right?  The way to reach there is through practice.

But, what should we practice?

1) Working Selflessly & doing good work, and slowly it will become second nature. 

Swami Vivekananda shares -
we are every moment is determined by the sum total of these impressions on the mind. Thus, if a man thinks good thoughts and does good works, the sum total of these impressions will be good; and they, in a similar manner, will force him to do good even in spite of himself. When a man has done so much good work and thought so many good thoughts that there is an irresistible tendency in him to do good in spite of himself and even if he wishes to do evil, his mind, as the sum total of his tendencies, will not allow him to do so; the tendencies will turn him back; he is completely under the influence of the good tendencies.

2) Remember the path to being detached, goes through first being attached to good things, and then you get a stage to be detached.  

Example - first devotion and deep attachment with lord so you annihilate yourself comes, and only then to transcend to nirvikalp stage. 

 

 

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How to remain 'Hot yet Cold'?
How to remain 'Loving yet Hating'?

How to remain 'Attached yet Detached'?....well this question seems paradoxical to me..

 

Anyway, I sense what you are asking is like how to have the freedom to drink coffee but not getting compelled or getting addicted to drinking it...

 

For this, if I truly talk with my personal experience and truth, then any reply for "how to", won't help..

Just keep your spiritual practices going, it will happen over a period of time, by just desiring for it to happen, it will never happen

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By not dwelling too much on the memories of past and expectations of future. By being in the present moment. Attachment has nothing to do with people, things, circumstances etc. It has all to do with thoughts.

One has to master the art of staying in the present moment, to get rid of attachments.What does it mean to staying in the present 🎁. That means loving people, things, work etc in the present,whosever is there in the present, howsoever they are in the present( not to their past idea that we hold in our heads), starting everyday fresh in the morning.

Whenever I experience extreme attachment towards anything, I contemplate on these lines, and come back to the present. ( These are my most favorite lines from scriptures)

" Ishavasya idam sarvam yay kincha jagatyaam jagat,

Tena tyaktena bhunjitha , maa gridhah kasvid dhanam". 

 

The Lord is present in everything that moves and doesn't move( animate as well as inanimate);

So, let go of whatever you are holding on to and then enjoy the present, do not covet other's wealth( material and spiritual), whose wealth is this anyways, it belong to him, and him alone.

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