Why i am unable to leave bhakti for sometime even when am studying?

[Solved]

1

these summer holidays of college i haven't even touched any study material of mine .....i just listened to bhajans explored various stotras and did my chanting as much as i can but where am i heading ? there is nothing which i want now ,am 21 years old ...this kind of vairagya at this age is it right?i will be grateful if my os family can help me in this .thank you

3 Answers
9

Dear spiritual aspirant, first off, its so beautiful to see that at such a young age, you are filled with such longing and pull towards the divine, it fills me with deep joy to hear this! I too have been 21 at one point and when I look at life through the eyes of a 21 year old, most of life's pictures look in terms of binary options: black or white . Either this or that. However,  over time you will acquire the maturity where your eyes begin to dwell upon the grey areas more. Also, if you are just enjoying a well earned summer vacation after a grueling year of studies, why not enjoy the break and revel in listening to bhajan and doing some chants etc? Nothing wrong at all in that! However, as a general note,  I would just like to add a word of caution such that we dont make Bhakti into a kind of escape from all the myriad problems and responsibilities that come with living and growing up. The mind loves to grasp at every opportunity to not face the " hard stuff" of life and escape into some abstraction. For many its surfing their social media apps, playing online games, socializing, drugs, alcohol etc...and for spiritually minded individuals, the escapism comes in the form of indulging in spiritual matters at the expense of everything else. Facing the hard stuff of life is what allows us to grow and mature into strong, centered and well-rounded individuals.

As soon as I say this, the mind will retaliate saying " Oh ya? then what about all those other saints who left home at such a young age and attained liberation at age 16....30..so on?? " For that, I would just say that, those individuals were pulled into this realm with a force akin to a raging flood where the dam was obliterated completely. If you are consumed by raging one pointed all enveloping spiritual thirst then you will also know how to follow your inner guidance towards your destiny. Also, please note that I am not sharing any of these reflections sitting upon my spiritual high horse so to speak. I say this as someone who has been 21 before and I too have been in your shoes and have experienced exactly what you are describing, so I understand subjectively what it feels like and I can deeply empathize with your question.  What I have learned in my life so far is that true Bhakti towards the divine is learning to channel your inner love for the divine in such a manner so as to work even harder with great passion to fulfill your tangible duties and responsibilities as an expression of your love and devotion towards the intangible. Bhakti according to me is to first have your feet firmly planted on the ground of this material world and willingly choose to fulfill your role in society but mentally cultivating the attitude that this is all done in service of the divine and offering up the fruits of your actions to the divine. Every one of us is here to fulfill a unique role and your heart already knows what that role is. Spiritual practices like yoga, meditation and mindfulness will help you to become more receptive to what your heart has to say. Listen to your heart and follow its gentle nudges and you will find your way in life. Hope this helps 🙂

5

Look within with full honesty and find out whether it's vairagya or an excuse to escape things you find boring (eg. studies).

I recall this little story told by Ramakrishna Paramahamsa ji to find out one's true belief and craving for God. A thief is in a house and gets to know that there's gold in the other adjacent room. He can't sleep the whole night as his mind can't stop thinking about how to steal the gold from the other room.

When your desire for God is that much strong, everything else will automatically drop off and your mind will only think and weep for God.

Then, the vairagya you'll have, will not be escapism but a fertile ground where the tree of para bhakti is standing with full glory. Then, you're fit to receive the vision of the divine.

Till your mind is in that state, you need to work.

Also, Swamiji has mentioned that the one who doesn't attain success on  the material path, is unlikely to attain success on the spiritual path. Reason being simple: both require discipline and effort. The latter requires even more of these two because you're trying to break free of the conditioning of the mind, which is of millions of years old and not just of this lifetime.

Jai Sri Hari 🙏

4

The answer provided by @A is perfect. But here are some pointers I thought you should be aware of. If you feel, you need to study but you are not studying. I would suggest you to dedicate the first 2-3 hours of the day, after you wake up to your studies. Then you will be free to do whatever you want for the rest of your day. Also, speaking from personal experience, a day of doing your studies properly along with your desired spiritual practices will make you feel more fulfilled than just doing spiritual practices the whole day. 

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