Is kaam to be just accepted and moved on in life?



First of all my sincere apologies for bringing this topic in Q&A if it discomforts anyone here, the intent is just to know how to improve my spiritual journey. And Thank You those in advance who try to help.

Kaam/Vaasana/Lust (bodily or material) is always considered a taboo in spiritual life.

However it is also considered that no one except for Bhagwaan (one true God - Ram, Shiva, Vishnu, Brahma) has ever been able to conquer or burn it.

There is a story of even Narad Ji falling for it. Lord Indra has been also a part of various such stories.

As per few great philosophers, it is something not to be suppressed as it might have bad consequences if forcefully suppressed.

In today's world of technology it is not possible to not be touched by it for a person like me. (Job, Ambition, Interactions, Advertisements, Family)

I wonder what the ancient texts are trying to teach us with the stories that no one is spared from the feelings, and what we should do about it if serious in spiritual path, should we just accept it as a thing of physical body and move on, or should we try to control it like the yogis, or should we try to convert the energy with chakras, or should we just feel sad?

Any suggestions, tips, hints, links etc would be nice.


6 Answers


First of all, I really do not think anyone in the community will feel discomfort, since we are all on the same path and this issue is prevalent amongst all humans. Swamiji has posted 2 videos about it. You can have a look at it. 

As far as my thoughts go- I feel it is a part of us. Just to be accepted. The great sages and siddhas have been called as the ones who have controlled their senses, not conquered them. I somehow feel your inclination is towards the bodily lust, which is more difficult since it actually incites physical response from the body. Other types of lust- be that towards power, wealth, position do not cause an instantaneous physical reaction. I believe this is the reason we give unwarranted value to them.

If we treat lust just as a thought, it too will pass. Everything, be it lust, anger, compassion, peace, it all starts from a thought. The thought, when lingered upon gives rise to emotion. This creates deeper mental imprints in our mind. As long as we are treating lust as an empty thought that will pass, it will not create concern.

As far as external things go, cutting off from the sources of lust always helps, since the mind doesn't get more fodder to feed on.

Thank you!


Our Scriptures have given us( human beings), three seconday goals ( Dharma, Artha, Kaam) and ultimate primary goal (Moksha).
If you are a grihasthi, you have to fulfill your duties towards your family. So scriptures never ask you; not to earn money, not to have kaam, not to have children etc. What they advice you that, you should fulfil your desires/ kaam and earn the wealth (Artha) with the righteousness ( as per dharma/ ethical way). They are asking you to be satisfied and contented with what you have. And even if you want to earn more, it should be in ethical way. 
 Ishavasya Upanishad, the very 1st verse also says the same-

ईशावास्यम् इदं सर्वम् यत्किञ्च जगत्यां जगत्।

तेन त्यक्तेन भुञ्जीथा मा गृध: कस्य स्विद् धनम्।।

They say, everything in this universe is enveloped/ व्याप्त by the Ishvara. Don't snatch or desire for other's things or beings. This is all His. You are given things and beings in this life by the Lord as per your previous karmas. Be contented with what you get with righteousness.
Even the Lord of Gods; Indra, ( and Ahilya) got the punishment when they tried to fulfil their desires in unethical way. That was their spiritual fall.

So, if we want to be steady in spiritual journey; without fall, we have to follow the scriptures. They never ask us to supress the desires/ kaam but to sublimate it with proper use of viveka. Supression of desires has harmful effects. But sublimation of desires (channelising or redirecting its force towards higher) takes one towards your primary/ ultimate goal.

For that, one needs regular reading of the scriptures, satsanga, and sadhana. There will remain no trace of lust then....

I hope this will help....Jai Shri Hari !🙏


Jai Shri Ram,

I had exactly the same question for many months. If you are married, as long as we are not doing cheating with your partner, it's ok to have such thoughts. Swamiji in one of the videos rightly said that for a man the hardest thing to control is his lust and for a woman it is envy (if I recall it correctly for woman ;)). 


1 get satisfied first with whatever you are attracted to, then only will you be able to do sadhana and it's very normal approach.


2 become desireless through intense meditation... Then also you won't be attracted towards materialistic pleasures .


1 see at 23 minutes 


One way to think of it is energy. It's another form of energy and one can work towards channeling it. I started thinking about this maybe 8-9 years ago but just thinking about it and trying few basic things didn't yield results. Only in last few years since starting doing Sadhana I can say there has been meaningful progress where one doesn't get too disturbed by such emotions. I would say start with acceptance first, see it for what it is and then start doing practices ideally Sadhana. 

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