Why do you think Swamiji endured Baba ji's tormenting behavior?


Last day of the year and I chose to re-read Swamiji's memoir, because it fills me with inspiration. Somehow I cannot still process and it really makes me upset every time I read, how could someone like Swamiji who was so well sorted in this mind about his goal let Baba ji treat him like that? Or use him and let him do so?
Was it a sense of surrender ? Was it just the faith that he would take him closer to his goal? In either case, should we not use our mind to analyze at all?

PS- I am already sorry if I shouldn't derive such meaning out of it, it is what was evidently happening though.

10 Answers


I used to think that way too but  I have come to appreciate Swamiji's life story in a new light. As we move along the path one of the changes that occurs in the mind of a sadhak is the ability to take a step back and gaze at the big picture of life more and dwell less on the details. IMO, Swamiji would not be the guru that he is today if Naga Baba had not been the guru he was back in the day. Things people have come to love and revere like Os.me, Sadhana app, Black lotus App, Swamiji's Ashram and all the initiates of Swamiji etc etc ..none of that would exist today as we know it if it weren't for Naga Baba.  In a way, all of us owe Naga Baba a huge debt of gratitude if you think about it.

All the things we are grateful for with respect to Swamiji came about as fruits of his intense tapas in the Himalayas. However, If Naga Baba was even ever so slightly different in his disposition, Swamiji would never have left the ashram in the first place and his life story would have taken a different trajectory.  It eventually might have led to his realization in some other form no doubt,  but It would have looked different from the story we have come to love and appreciate right now in our present. Therefore, when you step back and gaze at the totality of it, you will find that all the characters in a story add so much color and beauty to the story. That's why in a movie or a novel,  the person playing an antagonist is just as important as the protagonist. Because the role of a villain is to make you fall in love with the Hero and root for him!  The character of Ravana makes us fall in love with Rama and Sita and aren't we grateful that he exists in the story?

When you take a step back and reflect on the big picture in its totality, you will start to appreciate the intricacies and nuances in a whole new light and glimpse at the immense beauty contained in it! Beauty is an emergent quality.  To give you a music analogy, the high and low notes together is what makes a song so beautiful and melodious :).

I will also add one final note which is that sometimes great beings go through enormous challenges not necessarily for themselves but to show the world how to handle such situations if the rest of us ever find ourselves in one. Isn’t that what inspiration is all about? 🙂

Wishing you a brilliant 2023!!!


Either don't do a thing or if you do it, do it with perfection.

Swamiji has been a perfectionist. Whenever he's set his mind on something, he gives his best.

So When it came to the most defining moment of his spiritual life, of being a disciple, he simply gave his best for the duration he stayed with our Param Guru. 

And what was it? Complete surrender. 

In 2009, a few months before renouncing, Swamiji did a sadhana (which he's mentioned in the book The Ancient Science Of Mantras), he had a vision of the deity of that mantra – a yakshini. She guided Swamiji about the next step of his spiritual journey. He would take sanyasa and live like a disciple.

True surrender  is blind faith. It's absolute and unconditional without judgement. It then doesn't matter how you're kept or treated. If you expect a certain kind of treatment then can't call it surrender; that's a transactional relation.

But, there's no need for one to judge Naga Baba ji either. It was all divine will. As Swamiji mentioned here:

I asked Mother Divine In my last 100 births, I don't see any karma wherein I gave grief to anyone intentionally. So why did I go through what I went at Naga Baba's place?

She said the amount of tapas (sadhana) I required, either I'd have to do it myself or, she could have sent me somewhere, where I'd walk away with 65 years of sadhana in 4.5 months. Because Naga Baba had done 65 years of tapas

(Extracted only few bits; listen to the video in detail with more wonderful revelations as part of it.)

Jai Sri Hari 🙏


Jai Sri Hari Aparna. Others may be more qualified to answer your question, but in this blog, he also talks about his relationship with Naga Baba. https://os.me/guru/  

It will add more to the story that he shares in the book. He said many times that once he chose Naga Baba as his guru, "Ji Baba" was the only answer on his lips, so yes, surrender was the only bhava for him. Happy New Year sis.


Well, we have never been in his place and experienced the same; all we can do is form various opinions based on our knowledge and perception of what he went through by reading his memoir.

Every single one of us goes through life depending on and bound by our individual knowledge and awareness. And we call it reality. However, both knowledge and awareness are equivocal. One's reality might be another's illusion. We all live inside our own fantasies. ~ Itachi Uchiha


जय श्री हरि अपर्णा जी🌻🌻🌺

लीला का नाम सुना है, कुछ चीजें हमारी समझ के परे होतीं हैं, कुछ जिनको हमारा दिमाग नहीं समझ सकता क्यों कि समझने के लिए कुछ होता नहीं भक्ति और समर्पण में कुछ समझने समझाने को नहीं होता किंतु मानव मन हर जगह रेशनल होने का आदि है इसलिए इससे घबराहट होती है सीधी बात स्वीकारने में। मुझे भी शुरू में ये प्रश्न आया था लेकिन समय के साथ समझ आया कि कुछ जगह बस मुंडी झुकाने की जरूरत होती है, मुंडी लगाने की नहीं।

जय हो गुरु परंपरा की🌻🌻🌺


Jai Sri Hari,

Swami Ji has also mentioned that because of the challenging environment he faced at Baba Ashram, it helped him prepare for the Hostilities of the Mountains, that eventually led him to Mother divine.

Later on, Mother Divine revealed to Swami Ji along the lines- Because of the challenges packed in a few months, he was able to receive the 65 years of Tapas Baba had done in his life. No matter what circumstance, While he was with Babji, Swami Ji chose to stay in complete surrender in true guru disciple bond. 


You've not read about Gurus of past..... We're lucky that we've got SwamiJi who accepts us as we are.

Read how hard ... Almost life taking tasks Milarepa had to undertake before getting accepted by Marpa.

Dazu Huike had to severe his arm himself to show his dedication before Bodhidharma accepted him.

This all testing which may appear tormenting to us could be Gurudev's way of getting us ready or Divine's way of purifying us.

Plus serving Gurudev without any complaints breaks every trace of ego one may have.

But as SwamiJi says He did this to experience a disciple's Vyakulta so that He himself may understand His disciples if became Guru (which we know He is now).

But yes, it has always been like this, i think we are super lucky to have a Gurudev who is at pinnacle of mercy and compassion!


Love is blind.


Don't you think the best person to answer this question would be Great Heart himself? Have a blessed New Year, this year.


Not everything is as it seems and our moralistic and judgmental ways of looking at things need not hold water. What happens between a Guru and Disciple is sacred. Divine has a mysterious agenda. Who can say!

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