Loneliness

Before we begin,let me start by saying loneliness is a far more dangerous thing than most people believe it to be infact solitary confinement is believed to be one of the worst punishments and is equivalent to torture,loneliness can even result in people being suicidal and losing self worth.Japan even has a minister of loneliness

Loneliness can do terrible things to your brain,although we would like to be in solitude from time to time it is not good to stay alone for a long period see  this,well there is one thing people generally don’t realise is it completely possible to feel lonely even while being surrounded by people,human beings are social creatures and our brains are wired to socialise and be with a group regardless of introversion and extroversion of the person,everybody wants to socialise some may like to talk about music,some might like memes,some may want to talk about Astrophysics,and people might not find anyone with whom they might have a conversation let alone develop friendship,some people have social anxiety and find it difficult to make friends,well I understand that it’s hard but socialising is a very important skill in both personal and professional aspects of your life,you got to try hard everybody has to start somewhere don’t be afraid  of messing it up,because even if you do it won’t matter that much,and you’ll improve and learn from your mistakes,speaking of which there are certain kinds of people who just can’t say no to others these ‘others’ might be their so called friends or relatives who are interested in the lives of others than their own,you need to realise that you don’t need to impress anyone but yourself and what are you afraid of?saying yes and doing numerous favours for them will only hurt your self-esteem,you will be in this loop of depreciating self-esteem unless you decide to get out of it and that’s all that is needed a firm decision to change yourself

Evolutionary perspective

Another reason why loneliness hurts so much  is because HOMO SAPIENS spent most of their lives in groups or tribes as it ensured greater chances of survival,in a group everyone could help out each other,gathering food was easier,it was easy to ward off wild animals and more people in the tribe meant more muscle power,basically everything was way more easier and social status and connections were essential for you to stay in the tribe and not be kicked out which would probably lead to death!!!

Practical tips

Okay,so you’ve decided to make new friends,now what??,well if you are in a place where there are a lot of people like colleges,schools,offices,etc.Just be open to talking to people,but I don’t what to say??,You’re not giving an interview,just find common ground ,talk about those things which interest both of you,it might be a cricket match,anime, or any other thing really,but what if you find someone with whom you share common interests?,well this is where the internet saves the day,there is a platform called reddit  ,it has communities called subreddits where like minded individuals communicate and talk about certain things,it has a subreddit on almost everything,so find a few things your interested in,and just introduce yourself and interact with the community,you’ll be able to develop long term friendships quickly.

Also before I end this article,I would like to say never think you’re boring or you’re the coolest person to ever set foot on this Earth,both of these mindsets are dangerous,the former is due to low self-esteem while the latter might be a sign of narcissism.

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Thank you!!,

Maharshi

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Maharshi Sunder Raman

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