1. Bullying in general means an activity of repeated aggressive behaviour intended to hurt another person, physically, mentally, or emotionally. Physical bullying in schools and colleges was common a few years ago. But according to my perception, nowadays even before the start of Covid, I heard about it comparatively less. Today what I’m going to talk about is mental or emotional bullying. When someone bullies you physically, it is going to make an impact on your mental or emotional health. Similarly, mental or emotional bullying over a while can impact your physical health.

Background

In my school days, rowdy boys of my class and other nearby classrooms used to make fun of me and my weak outlook during free periods and recess time. They used to mimic my voice. I used to feel very bad but didn’t say anything about it at home. As I didn’t think it was necessary. Things changed after a few years when I and my sister were got admitted to a girl’s school. As a young girl now I can better understand that this phenomenon is omnipresent. The persons from whom my father and uncle borrowed money for the falling businesses, used to come to our home. I heard many times their unacceptable conversations and the overpowering demeanour of the second party. After many years, I realized that many times money lenders are ungenuine and are used to bullying the person if he is weak, submissive, and without support. My mother told us to keep focusing on our studies. She handled everything skilfully so that these things don’t impact us. I am not sure about my siblings but I feel these incidents have made me more fearful and submissive. Though I’m well educated and financially independent now.

My Experience

Mental or emotional bullying is my pick today not only to discuss my story but to give the message that DON’T TOLERATE, DON’T SUFFER. The persons who try to overpower are usually extremely self-centred and without any compassion. They don’t need to be in authority. They can be your colleagues younger or elder, male or female, any. For convenience, I give the name X (female)to my bully. X is more than ten years younger than me. To take advantage X will raise her voice at a level that you can’t match. So you will keep quiet although you are right. X will influence other subordinates by her materialistic possessions and small incentives like small treats, parties, and refreshments. In the absence of others, X will question your way of working and will leave no opportunity to demean you. Being senior, it seems very kiddish that you are unable to handle it. For years, you ignore your self-pride. As you can neither complain about it nor can be comfortable with it. X will try her best to take full advantage of your submissive nature.

Impact

Mental suppression makes you desolate. It drains your life force and makes you a person with low self-esteem. your identity is lost. It badly affects your productivity and enhances self-doubts. You were vulnerable, so you were bullied. And this initiates the opening of the negative spiral of life.

My Weak Points

The person in front of you will overpower you only when you are vulnerable. For many years I remained friends with X to maintain an official decorum. I lived in fantasy that with my compassion, she will change one day. But nothing changed. It is wrong to keep expectations. I helped X several times when she expressed some health issues. But many times, later on, found misinformation also. My takeaway is…

  1. Don’t be fearful and submissive.

2. Findbigger perspective (than this bully ).

3. Pray for HIS GRACE AND FAITH.

4. Practically, don’t expect much regarding changing a person. Change yourself. Be cool.

5. Live, Love, Laugh, Give, Let go.

Jai Sri Hari, years have passed by. All my efforts failed. But with His Grace only by His Grace, I feel love and laughter to flow and then fill my life.🙏

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Suman Verma

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