I am the victim here
When I visit my Aunt Radha, we have a good time chatting about general topics such as the weather, traffic, cost of living, politics, shopping, health and relatives. And I have figured that the last one is her pet topic. She narrates incidents of how her sister in law has behaved with her over the past 30 years, how she has excluded or ignored her at most of the social and religious events and how she is the last person to know about those. She is peeved off by the fact that how people in her own family can be aloof and non-inclusive. So there is a perpetrator and therefore she firmly believes that she is the victim.
Some of us inadvertently hold onto this single fold line of thinking that there is a villain out there who is out there to hurt me and therefore I am the victim of this pain.
Any person using common sense can understand that there is more than what meets the eye.
Is there really a perpetrator at work or is such a perception carved out based on a pattern?
What about the supposed perpetrator? Is she out to harm someone or is her behavior being perceived as such?
Don’t you think that it would be mindful to look at all angles at play?
The perpetrator probably doesn’t give her too much importance as she is caught up in her own routine of domestic affairs. On the other hand, she thinks that Radha’s husband who behaves badly with her and her family members (for a fact) is the real villain. He criticizes everyone and calls people names at the drop of a hat. What about that!
So even if Radha does not imagine things done to her, she is unaware of the impact that her husband leaves on others. So the perpetrator simply decides to stay away which naturally comes across as non-inclusive demeanor.
So should Radha live with it feeling like a victim all her life? What is the price of an incomplete perception? Or should she evolve by getting to the bottom of things? There is a choice, which there always is, isn’t there?
Playing the victim can be the shortest route to gain empathy and pity but will it always work? In this day and age of selfishness, who wants to listen, let alone pay heed to your problems?
Only you can be your own friend or enemy. We all are aware that we can’t be so gullible and naïve? That can be limiting, and what good will it do us when we are on the path to self-discovery?