The other day once again I got a really check of how much I am yet to learn in terms of not judging people with first impression. There is a free lancer sort of salon lady whom I booked for a spa treatment at home. I decided to start these massages after learning about my mind body type based on content on Ayurveda by Deepak Chopra and saw a marked difference in reduction in restlessness due to that. I am a predominant Vata dosha type so for us, hot oil massages can do wonders. Without digressing further let me tell the main story. This woman who came for the appointment got registered in my mind right away due to her radiant and flawless skin. She looked a bit like an actress. The prices which the company charges are in premium range and its sometimes tough to find an available person so my mind formed endless preconceived notions and started right away, “wow she is so beautiful, why can’t I have a skin like that , I bet she doesn’t even have to make much effort to maintain it, she must be making good money too (based on their charges)” and so on.
She, in the middle of the session said to me, “ma’am are you always quiet or you have some stress?”
I said,” I’m the quiet sort, there is no issue.”
She said, “oh alright, I thought those who are stressed or depressed inside don’t really feel like talking much. At least that was the case with me.”
I asked her what made her depressed and why she said what she said.
She told, ” Five years ago I lost my husband, It was a happy marriage and I was in love with him but He died.”
I didn’t ask how as it seemed it was some medical issue.
She continued, “When you love someone and they just leave you, life looses all its meaning. Not only that within 2 months my father also died. I couldn’t believe so much can happen in such a short time. I just stopped talking all together and became depressed. I was married of at 17 and He(the husband) died when I was 24.”
Now she is living with her mother who is mostly sick and with her son. She is struggling financially with 3 months rent unpaid. Her mother tells her to remarry but she said she is no longer interested in another marriage.
Towards the end she said, “ma’am please pray for me so that my situation improves.”
I was choked inside but maintained a poker face(which is my own coping mechanism for tough situations) and consoled her a little. I prayed to swamiji for her wellbeing and realized my own folly a little late.
Its all too easy to assume others have it all working for them, its only when we scratch the surface(albeit with care and love) that we realize what all they are going through. I hope I don’t make this mistake again. May swami ji heal her pain and help her sail through this.
Jai Shri Hari.