Change is the most natural thing around us. Yet it the most resisted occurrence with a lot of people. People look for permanence, for stability, for an unchanging situation. They get comfortable with their situations and prefer to remain in that state forever. The longer they stay in a situation, the more resistant they become to change. Till a day, they are forced to change – mostly in a manner that they are extremely uncomfortable with. Change is inevitable and yet people don’t want change. They prefer to be like frogs in their wells – un-explorative, secluded in their own world, absorbed in their own ego, blanketed by the personality they have created for themselves.

I’ve wondered often – when things are obviously going to change and change is unavoidable, then why this craving for permanence? A permanent place to stay, an unchanging job environment, ever-happy relationships, adequacy of money always – these are some asks of people desiring permanence.

While on one hand, people seek permanence, they accept other changes like kids growing up, inflation, changing governments, the growing of trees around them – occurrences which are considered “natural”. So, the resistance is only to changes that people think need not occur. People also cause changes by themselves when they need to do so. For example, one looks out for a higher paying job when one’s income falls short of his or her earning goals. So, the resistance is not to any change, but selective changes.

On further thought, I would say that the resistance is essentially for changes which need that the person should change to adapt to the situation – changes which need that the person changes himself or herself in terms of thought, attitude and character. People are averse to internal change much more than external change.

One has to change, one does change – the question is just whether it is conscious or forced or situation-driven. When changes are not conscious, people resist them, they reject them, avoid them and try all their might to prevent them.

My take is that when change is unavoidable, it is easier to make it conscious. Being ready to change oneself is the best way to make oneself ready to take on external change. The more conscious and keen one is towards changing one’s thought and behavioural patterns, the easier it gets to accept external change. Change then becomes a part of life – in fact an acceptable part of life when it is accepted consciously.

While one can choose to be a “Frog in the Well”, one can also choose to be the butterfly which metamorphoses from an egg, to an ugly larva to a dormant pupa and to the finally beautiful and elegant butterfly – a source of joy for all who see it. Conscious change spreads positive feelings and beauty in and around oneself.

Of course what one wants to change into is another aspect. Change in thought and behaviour ought to be towards increasing one’s positivity, developing a vibrant outlook, donning a peaceful nature. That is a subject much larger than intended for this post.

To conclude this post:

·        Positive, self-inflicted change brings in the ability to take on external change and face the world as it throws up challenges.

·        Change towards a positive lifestyle brings in beauty and peace in one’s own life and in those of others around.

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Subhash Iyer

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