Self-Love, the meaning of this word is very easy but very difficult to understand. And the most difficult to implement this knowledge.

I started understanding the importance of self love after meeting Swamiji (2016). Before that i never heard about the importance of this word. And it is very difficult to apply self love in life, Specially for the person whose conditioning was based upon these facts:

Ladki paraya dhan  hoti hai

Usko ghar ka sara kaam karna aana chaiye taaki sasural mein ja kar usko koi dikkat na ho

Usko har tarike se strong hona chaiye

Ek ladki ko har vo baat bardast krni chaiye jo ki galat bhi ho, painful ho kyunki Maa Baap ki izaat hoti hai ladkiyan

Usko har tarike ka dard bardast karna aana chaiye , nazuk nhi bnna

Ladkiyon ko padha ke kya karna hai ,unhone kaun sa hame money earn kar ke deni hai..

Jana to unhone agle ghar hi hai..

So, My question after having these things in mind, do you think so that she could have the knowledge of this topic?

Yes, in some cases specially when it comes to study , My Father was supportive. He use to say to my mother ,” Saara din ghar ka kaam karvati hai inse, padh bhi lene diya kar inko”

At that time, i use to think my Mother does not love us. i am reminded of one incident. i was very young and making chapatis (Roti) and by mistake i kept my hand on hot tawa as i was thinking roti is on my hand. I started crying and she gave me a cloth and said wrap on your hand and make roti. It is not going to work like that. (Agle ghar jaana hai, itne soft nahi bnna) Ha Ha

At that time ,i felt very bad but now i appreciate that because of all that now i am so strong that whatever happens in my life, i remain strong. i can cook well. Other skills like painting, knitting and stitching. I would like to say a big thank to my Mother for teaching me all these skills.

So overall these conditionings affected my physical, emotional and mental health in negative way. Perhaps this is the only reason that i still ignore myself many of the times.

Its almost one year , i am not doing any job and helping my family members in different ways. And by doing so, i have deteriorated  my physical health, not mental and emotional because i never miss a single day without any meditation or Sadhna. I have realised this thing and went for physical examinations. My reports are not normal. but yes, now i am trying my best to take care of my physical health. Daily i try my best to do walk for some time and taking precautions . But again because i am living with them, sometimes i am not able to do so because of the conditioning.

Above all, one thing that is very positive in me because of Swamiji, I am mindful about each and everything, and that helps me in dealing with such situations and i spend a lot of time with myself.

Swamiji, this is the last time when i ignored my health as many times you only advised me to take care of health. And i Promise i will respect your advise.

Thank you so much Swamiji.