The issue with most of us is, that we think we know it all. It happened to me as well, multiple times.
As soon as I was past 18 years, I thought that I am everything, I am capable of everything, I can make and break anything. I was stupid because I had stopped to learn and grow. With my inflated ego, I thought I could tackle every topic, every subject possible. I was unhappy, moody, and irritated because there were only material pursuits. I was frustrated because when I thought I knew it all, someone always said something that pricked me where it hurts the most (my ego), and I was stagnant because I refused to absorb knowledge. Even water, the standard for purity, rot and smell when it is stagnant. So what am I?
I discovered Om Swami through the Science of Mantras. The first page shook me, and I knew then that I was crushed. I was gliding through the pages. And you could feel the weird tingling in the middle of the forehead, like a small warm pressure. Before that, I used to read here and there. So many spiritual books have flooded the market that being overwhelmed is sort of natural. Now I am opened to learning. Gradually, I started feeling humble. Whenever I saw a conflicting Facebook post and had this urge of “here is the boss who shall shatter your ego” genre feeling, I halted, thought and left it for others to debate. If the universe has no end, it keeps expanding, who am I then to know it all? Agree that I will never know it all, I shall grow old and die before I ever achieve wisdom. But hey, I am a student and I will never stop learning.
My lesson? I learnt to be selective, highly selective in whatever I am absorbing. By constantly refusing to listen to my inner voice, I somehow pushed it back. I am learning to trust that I am a particle of God and training my inner voice to trust me again with its knowledge.