For many months I struggled to understand the concept of ‘tendencies of the mind’. Swami often says that we all have specific tendencies and it’s beneficial to work on them if we aim to purify ourselves.
So I was quite amazed when I finally grasped a way to identify some of our prominent tendencies. Given how complex we are as humans with a forever active mind, it isn’t an easy affair as such. But I gained this clarity over time through His infinite grace and also the help of a very wise soul. So let me get straight to the point.
The depth of this topic can be found in numerous posts by Swami on os.me and many YouTube videos. I’ll expound on my observation from His teachings. You see, there is frequently a seed tendency which propels our actions. If you are lucky like me you may even have many seed tendencies! Some of us may have the tendency to be insecure, whilst others the tendency to fear rejection, or to be loved by everyone or even the tendency to escape oneself. But it seems that ‘ego’ is at the basis of most ‘bad’ habits. As Swami explained in the Self-purification event, Ego is either on or off. And Ego has two spectrums, someone either portrays it by acting/feeling superior or by feeling inferior.
So how do we detect the game of our minds and what our Ego is upto? If we carefully assess out actions, we’ll notice the presence of specific patterns in our behaviour. The constant need to please others may be associated with the tendency of insecurity, i.e. the tendency to be loved by all. Some of us may always begin or end a sentence with the idea of not being worthy or showing fear of being rejected, whilst others may exude vibes of arrogance. It’s all about self-observation. I mindfully observed my actions and detected the most prominent tendencies I have. And although I am still working on them, I will spare you from reading my long list of tendencies:)
Whenever life presents us with a situation (unplanned), our very first and instantaneous reaction to that specific situation should help us identify our tendency. For example, if when we drop something our first reaction is anger; the hint is there. One of our innate tendencies may be anger. On the other hand, if after reacting to something, we immediately think “Omg what if I did/said the ‘wrong’ thing”, then this may be hinting towards a tendency of a fear of rejection. This potentially signifies Ego operating at the ‘non-arrogant’ side of the spectrum most of the time. Some of us are also always talking and asking questions, and at the core of it I noticed that it’s due to the fear of facing oneself.
There are also cases where we act superior towards others and surprisingly, it also shows the presence of insecure tendencies. Because a secure person is very humble and always kind to others without after-thoughts. Or pre-thoughts for that matter.
Every so often, when we take certain resolves to do things or behave in certain ways but our minds win over us spontaneously, that’s when know that our tendencies were most prominent.
But all is not lost, mindfulness, one day at a time as we chisel at purifying ourselves along with some meditation and the help of The amazing HH PP Swami, we will surely succeed.
And as we strip ourselves of our tendencies, one by one, through mindfulness and grace, we may discover that God was hiding behind them all along. In the emptiness of our minds and the strength of our willpower, bliss is to be found.
So now…if you find yourself judging my little post, think again! Mindfully. Is that a tendency I notice there?? Just kidding:)