This is my brief journey to overcome my ugliness (I didn’t know whether I was ugly or not, I just came to know from other people) to accept me as me.

Many kind people may say,

Oh! No, friend! You are not bad! I see from your picture, you are quite decent.

I don’t think it’s true, I always use filters to look at least decent.

Remember, you might be seeing, neither am I tall nor healthy, looking like a school guy, which actually I’m not.

I divided my post into two parts:

  1. How did I come to know that I am ugly according to societal norms?
  2. How did I overcome it?

How did I come to know I’m actually ugly?

Actually, at first, I didn’t know that. But I was fortunate that I met some nice people who told me that I look really dirty.

No, ma’am/sir! They didn’t tell that me directly. There is something called courtesy.

They told me very politely with the help of a smart tool named Sarcasm. 

In a group picture, they’d always make me stand at the most left or most right position so that they can easily crop me out.

There had been many stances when I ruined someone’s picture, so now I myself choose a safe position so my friends won’t have any problem cropping me out.

At my graduation, I had some female friends. But zero times, anyone offered me even a walk with her.

And I believe they were actually correct, who would like to roam around with a dark guy on a college campus and make fun of herself.

In my first year, I remember I went to the cafeteria in college with a female friend, and the guy who gave me tea and snacks was laughing at seeing us together.

By the way, after that time I too joined him and we all laughed together.

So I have been fairly realising, I’m not good-looking, but now what to do?

How did I overcome it?

I just stopped giving attention to anyone, anymore.

I might be the ugliest person in the world but I don’t care. I don’t care about your opinion, your ideas, your views on this aspect, on how I look.

Neither you nor I am paying anything to anyone for how I look. Because it doesn’t matter at all. It doesn’t matter how I look until it’s coming into my work and my profession. 

If I study a book, or if I’m passing by a road, if I go to a bank to open a bank account or to college for admission. My look doesn’t matter.

I’m not modelling anywhere so no need to care for my looks, and neither should I have to impress anyone with my looks.

So why to care anymore?

I’m always focused on how I speak to people, how I treat other people, how I co-operate with them if all that is going respectfully, fairer skin colour might have some advantages but an ugly look wouldn’t have much disadvantages.

In a world where Lord Krishna (whose named itself means black) is portrayed as fair, we can’t expect our look to not matter. But remember —Who cares until we do? 

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Mohit Agrawal

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