The Road to (Un)happiness

“I cannot recount the countless paths to fleeting happiness, O Ananda,” Buddha said, “they vary from one sentient being to another. But I can tell you the cause of suffering and the means to transcend it—these are universal to all.” ¹

This is called inversion. That is, one definitive way to ensure success is to find out what is not conducive to success and then stay away from that. Notice how Buddha didn’t say, I will give you a list of ten things that will make you happy. Instead, he said that I will tell you the cause of your sorrow and ways to avoid it.

I have been reading this interesting book called All I Want To Know Is Where I’m Going To Die So I’ll Never Go There. Like all great books, the premise is simple and the message deep. It’s a work of fiction where the author (Peter Bevelin) gets to be in a room with a librarian, Warren Buffett, and Charlie Munger and hear the wise duo impart wisdom on all sorts of things. What makes this book beautiful is that the knowledge given by Buffett and Munger is not fictional, however. It’s been taken from their actual quotes from various books, papers, and publications. 

Getting back to inversion, the two mega-rich, and wise old men talk about the process of inversion in arriving at any decision in life. I found it meaningful and thought it would be a nice way to end the year. That is, to share with you some tidbits I gathered from this book and many others throughout 2024. Here are five pointers (in my own words) for a wholesome life. It’s the inversion of inversion, if you will. In the sense that reflecting on these and inculcating them in your life will ensure that you create the right conditions for a beautiful life. 

1. Behave

Almost always, all good things come from good behavior. If ever in doubt on how to behave in any given situation, simply reverse the roles and see how you would like to be treated. You will be amazed at what all becomes possible in a harmonious environment full of love. And it doesn’t take much to make someone feel loved or valued. As Mary Kay Ash said, “Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, ‘Make me feel important.’ Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.” ²

2. Avoid problems

While there is no doubt that life is mostly about solving problems, it helps to remember that there may be a lot of problems in your life that don’t even have to be there to begin with. Most of our problems are merely a symptom of a core problem. Introspect, identify, isolate, and pick the root issue, the one problem that matters the most to you. Avoid all the others. If you want less stress in your life, avoid reckless decisions that cost you your time and attention in resolving issues that could have been avoided in the first place. As they say, “It’s much harder to come out than to not go in at all.”

3. Keep it simple (and make it easy for yourself)

I can’t stress this enough. Simplify your life. Learn to say No. Quit the tiring and never-ending race of impressing others. Declutter and cut out the noise. Focus on things that truly matter to you. Gradually you will feel your stress melt away from your life.

4. Learn (and keep learning)

You will never get old, and you will never get outdated if you continue to care about something you still wish to learn. 

5. Live Within Your Means

The shortest route to a peaceful life and restful sleep is to live within your means. It reminds me that in the same book by Peter Bevelin, there’s a passage on finding the right person to marry. ³ He asks Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger what to look for in a good life partner. Intelligence, looks, same wavelength, education, or something else?
“Marry someone with low expectations,” Buffet replies. 

All that is required to live within our means is to lower our expectations a tad bit, and suddenly, the world is an eminently affordable place.

“I’m tired of this life,” a man said to Mulla Nasurdin. “I solve one problem, another one pops up. Is there no way out?”
“Come with me,” Mulla replied and took him to the cemetery.
“Why are we here?”
“You see,” Mulla said, pointing at the various tombstones, “only these people have no problems. If you want a way out, you know where to sign up. Shall I make arrangements?”
“I think I’ll keep my problems, Mulla.”
“I thought so. At least yours come with snacks and naps.”

I hope you celebrate your new year with healthy snacks and naps too. I named this post The Road to (Un)happiness because upon a bit of cogitation, you will discover that while the five points stated herein may or may not lead to lasting happiness, not following them will certainly add to your unhappiness.

I pray that each moment of your life brims with happiness, love, and devotion as you merrily skip along the wondrous passage of life. Do not underestimate yourself. 

Peace.
Swami