I clearly have no wisdom to share. Sorry. If I had that, I would have saved myself... If you read my posts chances are you may end up feeling burdened. All I can offer are my critical questions that are definitely not sugar coated. I am here because swamiji makes me feel accepted. His smile relieves me somehow. But I don't get to talk to him. I hope someday he will read all these posts and tell me what I am seeking. They say one doesn't suffer just like that. And I don't know where this suffering will end. May be I will leave some mark here. May be I won't All I want is to have a place to jot down my thoughts.. Please bear with me. I apologise in advance if I hurt anyone's sentiments here. That is never my intention. But the fire in you that burns for spirituality or your religion or as a seeker, is, in me, in the form of rage and bitterness! And yes I studied psychology for my graduation and masters and cleared a national level exam in it. So here you meet the irony! I am supposed to understand atleast my thoughts and desires but here, now they are all over the place.. all haywire!