How we fight and what we fight says a lot about us.
For an average human being, it is not possible to avoid conflicts. Because living our lives entails navigating people, mindsets, beliefs, situations, and so on.
Conflicts are as much a part of life as suffering is. The former leads to the latter for sure. Both are optional. And some conflicts are definitely avoidable, like the one between Russia and Ukraine (can we call it war yet). This dangerous development has pushed the world to the brink of extinction, and has prompted a spate of blogs on os.me.
It is also a good moment to introspect.
Most of the conflicts result from acting reactively. We invest no time in reflecting or processing emotions. Most of it could be averted, if we could only change that. More reflection, less reaction.
A simple technique is to increase the gap between the situation and reaction time. Is it easier said than done? Not entirely. If we could take time to respond mindfully, a lot of strife would be cut out of our lives. There are additional things you could do to build resilience and deal with anger better.
As spiritual leader Thich Nhat Hanh says in How to Fight: “We “kill” our anger by smiling at it, holding it gently, looking deeply to understand its roots and transforming it with understanding and compassion.
If you find yourself in an unpleasant situation, take time by walking away from it physically. Thinking about something positive and totally unrelated could be a mental ‘walk away’. Breathing deeply also aids in the disconnection process.
More importantly, have an open mind. There are several ways to arrive at 12. 6+6 is not the only correct answer. Don’t feel challenged. All yourself to experience possibilities and perspectives.
Besides, while curating this Digest, I came across a line that spoke to me: Be silent and listen, even to yourself! A root cause of arguments is when we keep talking and do not listen. Even when experiencing an internal conflict, we tell ourselves things instead of listening to our wise side.
Mindfulness is an effective tool for conflict resolution. This Digest taught me that and a lot more. Again, how we fight and what we fight says a lot about us. Pick your battles wisely.
Here are some thought-provoking writings from os.me professionals to assist you in fighting mindfully:
Can Krishna be Blamed for Mahabharata War: The Mahabharata war at Kurukshetra was probably the first nuclear war. The human cost of that war was grave. Many people hold Krishna responsible for it. Keyur Seta explores if accusing Krishna for the war is justified. Find out for yourself.
Through My Brother’s Death, a New Life Emerged: Writer Ash Jurberg’s brother, Michael, chose death. The deliberate ‘death’ brought an end to Michael’s inner conflict. His death was also an act of deliverance for Amber. Ash writes about this unconventional death. A beautiful lesson in acceptance.
6 Practical Ways to Reverse a Productivity Slump: The productivity slump strikes when the most-anticipated project comes along. Do not fight it. Here are six ways for getting back into the swing of things.
Is How We Fight Reflective of Enlightenment: Perceive behaviour in a conflict to be a test of one’s awoke-ness and lack of ego, which is a very specific aspect of a person’s overall character, writes Preeti Gupta. Food for thought before you get into arguments next time.
Subjectivity is Emotional, Objectivity is Rational: I give fantastic counsel to people. When I’m in a bind, however, I don’t always follow it. I am not the only one that feels this way. Most people cannot reason when confronted with a difficult situation themselves. Rajeet Singh explains the why behind it using brain science. And he gives a simple solution to overcome subjectivity when you cannot see the wood from the trees. Avoid knee-jerk reactions. Here are some pointers to help you approach situations objectively.
Leave Alone and Leave Alone: Author Francesc Miralles writes, ‘There are two crucial moments in the evolution of a person… The first is when you leave yourself alone, accepting yourself as you are, with your strengths and weaknesses, successes and mistakes… If you reach that non-fighting state, you are already very close to the light’. And there is a higher step.
Sadhana: Poet Sadhvi Vrinda Om writes about that one all-powerful tool to overcome all strife and struggle — Sadhana. Now it is more accessible, thanks to the Sadhana app. I dig it. Have you given it a shot yet? It is available on both the App Store and the Google Play Store.
Watch it Now!
Living in Conflict: When you are tired of fire-fighting, when life constantly keeps on knocking you down, when your path continues to get blocked, it often means it is a calling of change. Read spiritual leader Om Swami’s piece to ensure the light you see at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train.
Gods and Demons: Who will win a fight between two bulls, one enraged and the other calm? Take a look at the story retold by none other than our favourite spiritual leader, Om Swami.
Do you have any tips to help approach or resolve a conflict? Share those in the comments for everyone’s benefit. And, here’s a heads-up, our next guest editor is looking for posts about decisions. Any tips, personal experiences and tools would get a shout-out.
PS: If you know someone who would benefit from this post, please share it with them and introduce them to our fantastic Karma Program.