This Sunday evening, the mind was little perturbed, for no reason, when I enquired within, the mind was thinking that the spiritual path seems so long. Sometimes, it feels as if you will never make it, as if you are not a cut for this. So, I decided to make a complaint with him – I want to complain about him to him, who else one can turn back to, and to me, poetry express my emotions better than words.

 I sang an ardent cry for help full of complaints to help me and guide me and here today, as Swamiji addressed in the live session the virtue I need to first be established in completely if I want to walk this path, the practice of truthfulness. It is not that I lie all the time and cheat people all around but when I pay attention, I realize that our words are full of exaggeration and manipulation. the mind has been trained in a way that it doesn’t think twice if it has to twist and turn words a bit to fit the situation and place and it happens unconsciously.

 There is something about Swamiji that when he speaks, everything makes sense and I found the answer where I need to pay utmost attention for next one year or so to level up the game, this game of hide and seek between me and my Lord.

Link : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uvj6DQ2_Km5xl18BmkBwUQgNRBbRIs02/view?usp=sharing

Here it is, the lyrics of this complaint to Lord :

Kya kahenge tujhe,

What will people say to you,

Bandaa hoon tera,

Everyone knows I am your devotee,

Aur jholi yeh meri khaali hai,

and yet i have not found anything, I haven’t reached anywhere,

Mera na sahi, Apna hi bachaa,

If you do not think much of me, at least think of yourself,

jo naam yeh duniya gaati hai,

And think of the faith people have on your name that they glorify all the time.

Kya karma karoon,

What karma should I do ?

Kaise mein jeyoon,

How should I live this life,

Tu hi aake bataa,

You only come and tell me now,

Kya baaki hai,

What is left to be done by me,

Kaise pahunchoon, tere dar par mein,

How can I reach at your door ?

Tera naam ratoon kya na kaafi hai?

I think of you alone all the time, isn’t that enough ?

Hasti hoon sadaa,yeh soch ke mein,

I always put a smile on my face, 

Tere naam pe na koi inch aaye,

As I do not want to bring disgrace to the honor of your name that I chant,

par tu hai khuda,

But you are the Supreme Almighty,

Kya jaane nahi,

Don’t you know my state?

Raatein teri yada mein kaati hai,

Every night I stay awake in the longing of your union,

Hain Kaun yahaan jo dil samjhe,

Now, you alone tell me who else is there who can understand my desperation to be one with you?

Tere saath hi dor yeh baandhi hai.

Letting go of all attachment, I have forged a bond with you alone.

Kya kahenge tujhe,

What will people say to you,

Bandaa hoon tera,

Everyone knows I am your devotee,

Aur jholi yeh meri khaali hai,

and yet i have not found anything, I haven’t reached anywhere,

 

My sincere apology to Lord and Swamiji for not having enough trust that I am being taken care of and grace and help is always there and I just need to keep walking with faith. Let this mind remember this, whenever doubts creep in, then one has to lift himself by himself, the antaryamin, the guru is always within to help and one has to put efforts and churn the ocean of consciousness to make butter out of this impure milk, during the impurities in the dross of penance of speech, mind, and body.

 

All Glories to Swamiji 🙏🙏🙏

Jai Shree Hari 🙏🙏🙏

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