Footsteps approached me but before it, the scent of freshly applied sandalwood signaled his arrival.
He kept his right palm discretely on my shoulder and his yellow robe that laid with it tickled my back. I responded with a grin, eyes closed,”You at last came, Father?”
I opened my eyes slowly to glance his ever enchanting form. Yellow robes with sandalwood paste all over his divine body. Adorned with jewels with Koustabh Mani at the centre and with the golden Srivatsa on his left chest, he looked enchanting as usual. The distinguishing feature which always rejuvenated me was his lotus petalled eyes with which he smiled at me. His grin so appealing that even the cupids would lose their calm and fall for it. There he was, standing in his two handed form.
“How can I not?” he replied with a grin. “You invoked me after such a long time. All this time when you wanted to talk you only approached Mahadevi. Don’t you ever feel like talking to your father?” He asked moving his chin up with his ever enchanting smile.
I held his hands, stood up and made him sit on the place where I sat and then sat on his right thigh.I replied grinning,”Father, don’t try to entangle me by the play of your words. May I remind you that you are always engrossed in the contemplation of your devotees. Then as your child, how can I disturb your meditation? So I approached Maa.”
He replied moving my chin with his right hand,”:You don’t have to consider so much before talking to me. As my child, you also have the full right to have an audience with me whenever you want.”
“Understood” I replied smiling “but first you have to eat something.”
“What is it?” He asked pretending to be surprised.
With my bhava shakti I manifested a bowl of kheer in my palms and then offered it to him.
He nodded and said,” Uuu.Huh! I will only accept it if my child feeds it to me with his hand.”
I obliged and took the kheer and fed it to him. I still wonder who was more satisfied, he enjoying the kheer or me feeding it to him? After he finished the kheer, he took some of it and fed it to me with his own hand. The elixir of the devas is tasteless in comparison to what I was having that time. After that, I quenched his thirst by offering him water and cleaned his lips with the robes that I wore and he, mine with his.
“Why did you invoke me, son? Is there something important that you wish to discuss with me as your Father?”
“Yes, Father.” I stood up from his lap and said,”Father. I don’t know what to do more. My life has come to a standstill. I have everything in my life as I have you. I am satisfied and due to Mata’s grace I attained the experiences of every kind of enjoyment one can ever enjoy. This has led to the eternal loss of desire as I feel what more there is to attain when one has already attained you?”
“Is it so?” He stood up smiling “Are you sure you have completed everything that you were supposed to?”
“I don’t know father. I have the experiences but not the memories. Please guide me if there is something that needs to be done through me. I would be happy to do so.”
He replied keeping his hand on my shoulder,”Son, it is true that as a being you have attained but you still as a body didn’t go through all the stages of life that are needed to unlock your memories and skills. In my incarnations, I too had to go through these stages as it gives human life its fulfillment”
“So father please guide me what should I do next? What is the appropriate course of action that must be taken to unlock my skillset as well my memories?”
“Well” he continued “you have to complete your Sadhana under the supervision of an appropriate guru.”
I asked curious,”Well father, who would be my Guru? Under whom would I enjoy the bliss of being a disciple? Whom can I look upto when I need ?”
“Well” as he was going to continue someone giggled. A sweet voice. I observed and found that it was emanating from the Golden Srivatsa that father had on his chest. “Oh beloved” said father looking at his chest, smiling “if you want to participate, please particiate in a way that your son too could see you.”
“So be it” she replied and the Srivatsa started glowing and the emanating rays soon manifested into a divine form.
Adorned with jewels in a red saree, the lotus complexion of hers was indescribable. When she walked, it felt as if a goose was walking with her pupils as expressive and fickle like a fish in a river. In regard to him, the fragrance of full bloomed lotus added to her pristine beauty as she was always, in the prime of her youth.
“Swami” she said gently “I don’t want my son to start his vidya under someone who is not appropriate. Only the best of Gurus should be there to teach him or someone who has done enough sadhana to have a mastery over my 64 kalas.”
We both were surprised listening to her demand.
“But Mahadevi” he continued “aren’t you keeping the standards too high? All those who have attained us are equally appropriate to be his Guru. And moreover, in a way you may also be undermining their abilities as a Guru.”
“No Swami” she replied “I am not questioning their abilities of being a Guru. They are great but I want my son to get the best of his schooling. To transform him to a place where he is enshrined with all the dimensions of life that one can ever attain to and for that his holistic schooling is a necessity.”
“Oh beloved” he replied smiling placing his palm under her chin “it is your motherly instinct that is making you think this way. Every parent wants their children to get the best of everything.”
“No Swami, it is not only that” she held his hand and continued “every time I can’t be Mahadevi, sometimes I am also a mother. A mother of my child. I have keenly observed him from his childhood. Not everyone can quench his thirst for knowledge and this is the reason I actively kept him away from reading scriptures and attaining information because I didn’t want him to pollute his mind with something that is half a truth. This is the reason I avoided him to go under discipleship of any random being.”
“So what do you suggest Priye?” he asked gently.
She looked at me, held my hands and said,”Son, you have done enough as a caregiver. We are very satisfied and proud of your endeavors. But like a unfinished pot can’t hold water in it, in a similar way, you can’t carry out your duties effectively unless you have completed your schooling and for that you need someone who has mastery over every dimension of life.”
“So what do you want me to do, Mata?” I asked overwhelmed to everything that was happening.
She smilingly replied,”Son, there is only one Guru that I can think of who can provide you with everything that is there to be known and that is Mahadev Virupaksha, Shiva. I want you to seek his refuge and plead him to take you as his disciple or make him appoint someone who he fits appropriate to be your Guru.”
“As you wish Mata”
“But before that” she continued “you have to complete the preliminary sadhanas that are essential before you start with your schooling.”
“What are those, Mata?”
“Son, those were already documented by my other child for the society’s welfare. Take him as your Guru and under his prescribed injunctions, complete the sadhanas. As you finish, Ashutosh will have no choice but to grace you with an appropriate Guru or if necessary, him being one.”
I touched her feet and said,”Oh Maa, it is a well known truth that you are my Ichcha Shakti, Kriya Shakti, Chitta Shakti and Gyan Shakti. I don’t do anything but it is you who does all the work. This sadhana is just a formality for me as I know it will be you who will do the sadhana, not me.”
“No, Son. It is your sheer devotion that makes you think like that. You have always dedicated all your achievements to us but you must know that it is your own efforts which made you the way you are now. Grace acts as a lubrication but without any Purushartha, we are also incapable of providing any aid.”
As she caressed my hair, she said,”One more thing son. It is alright to focus on Brahma but ignoring Maya doing that is also not appropriate.”
“What do you mean, Mother?” I asked perplexed.
“Look at your father. He is a Vairagi yet still he adorns himself with jewels and lavishes himself with every luxury and pleasure that is there out in the 14 worlds. Not to enjoy it but to keep a balance. In the same way, being our son it is inappropriate for you to ignore your body and the pleasures that the world provides. I am the body of every living being and hence ignoring to maintain and groom your body is the same as ignoring the blessing given by me. Hari’s body is me and hence he adorns it and keeps it well groomed respecting my decorum. You should too. Look the best you can look, you are my son. My wealth and prosperity should reflect through you.”
“As you wish, mother.” I replied to her offering my obeisciences.
“Father” I looked at him and continued “Soon you are going to be in Yognidra. Any advice that you want me to keep into account?”
He chuckled and replied,”Son, sometimes the best thing one can do at certain situations is to do nothing. You must master the skill. You will soon need it.”
Seeing my confused expression, they both grinned and she again positioned herself in his Srivatsa. I touched his feet and offered my obeisciences. Before leaving he held my head and said,”When one is free from the dualities of life, there I lay, standing and waiting for them with my open arms but alas, when Avidya is percieved as Vidya, even I have no choice but to wait for them, as the only choice fit appropriate is to wait, nothing but to wait.”