Love can only exist when there is no sense of ‘I’.

Love is a great feeling. Probably, the greatest, besides the feeling of suffering. But, the way we love, is fraught with much dosh (blemishes).

Humans are the only species who can feel universal love, compassion, and consciousness. But, most of us are skewed in these matters. Most of us are twisted creatures.

Our love is actually a ‘selfish affair’, a self-centric activity. Isn’t it? Why do we love? We love only to be loved! Right? If we are not loved, can we still love someone? No. This is the fact. What does this reveal…It only reveals the fact that we don’t actually love others, we only love ourselves! We only use others to feel fulfilled. This is the bitter reality of our love.

So, now comes the million-dollar-question: is there such a thing as true love? If everybody is only concerned with themselves, how to find true love? Let’s understand what true love is.

True love is ‘pure love’. Let’s use the word pure love. Our love is not pure. Pure in the sense, in our love there is the contamination of our own selfish desires, motives, cravings, longings, aspirations etc. All these things contaminate the quality of love. What we generally call ‘love’ is actually a way to fulfill our desires. So, our love is actually not love, it’s desire in the garb of love. This is impure love.

But, when we’re no longer motivated by self-centred activity, when it’s no longer about ‘I’ or ‘my’, when we learn to be empty of our ‘self’, only then true feelings of inclusion comes, which is love! Love is an embrace, it’s an inclusion!

But, the ‘self ‘is a notorious entity. It just doesn’t want to go. As long as this ‘self’ exists, everything we do: whether we pray, we meditate, we serve or we love, it’s incomplete! ‘Self’ is a limited entity. It invariably limits all things.

Learn to empty yourself of your ‘self’. Only then the heart will expand, and will want to embrace everyone and everything.

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Alok Singha

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