My relation with my sister, 5 years younger than me had deteriorated with time. Most of the time we would fight like cats and dogs, on petty issues. I accept it was my fault, my short temperament due to other reasons had contributed in destroying this bond. But meditation, sadhana, etc changed it. As I grew spiritually, as my awareness grew, I lost my temper, I became more sensitive and much better than before and things slowly changed.
Then in 2021, around Janmashtami, I decided to practice unconditional love towards my sister. At this moment, I find it hard to recall the exact situations that triggered and the memories have blurred a little, but as far as I remember my intent was like, “No matter how she behaves due to the effect of our past interactions, I will reciprocate with acceptance, forgiveness and love. I will let her be and respect her for who she is, no expectations, etc.” For example, let’s understand this from a particular situation. Sometimes, she talks about the incidents at school or things which don’t matter to me in the least. But for her, it’s all that matters. So in such situations, listening to her unconditionally was one thing I tried to practice. There are many other subtle ways in which I tried to improve. Slowly, over time, it worked. If you try to keep a feeling of respect, love, compassion for someone in your heart, try to project that, then slowly, it affects the other person from within, even if you don’t express it much externally. And vice versa is also true.
So things changed. Over past few months, her behavior towards me has changed. And above all, a few months ago, I received a compliment from her which is the testimony of this change. Paraphrasing, “Earlier I used to think that you are the worst brother in this world. Why did I get such a brother. But now, I feel you are a great brother.” I don’t feel there’s anything to add to this. I have already extended it to my parents and everyone as well. However, what I do now is something else, but let’s keep it for some other day.
This is one of the most beautiful outcomes I have got as a result of evolving spiritually. Now she gives me more respect than she gave earlier. Sometimes, she gets angry, lashes out, but such incidents are far and few in between and it’s completely fine. I accept all of it. Firstly, due to compassion, I don’t feel like reacting. Secondly, if I reciprocate in anger, then it will only fuel this cycle, trapping me and her further in a karmic bondage, in ignorance. When she is angry I see her as Devi Kali taking a sword and cutting my karmas. She is just repaying the anger which I gave her once and I am ready to accept it so that it also relieves her.
To sum up, my relation with my little sister has just improved a lot and I feel very happy to have resolved my conflict with her before death.
P.s. – One of the biggest misconception in society around spirituality and devotion is that it makes one oblivious of relations, turns one away from family, etc. This notion instills a sense of fear amongst the near ones of anyone walking this path. But my spiritual growth has only made me more loving towards the ones around me. Spirituality, meditation, sadhana, devotion, whatever, it has only increased my respect towards my family and everyone else.