A Shattered Dream
Monday early morning, Raj got a text. Though the number wasn’t saved in his phone book, he very well knew whose number it was. It belonged to a person with whom he had dreamt his entire life. It was her wedding invitation. Both of them knew everything was over between them, Raj still felt a pain when he saw the invitation.

“Will you come?”  

                                       “Yes. Congratulations.”

On the wedding day, Raj dressed up like OO7 and reached the venue. There she was, all smiles with the garland in her hands ready on the stage. Although Raj knew lot of people in the wedding, he chose not to speak to anyone.

He wanted to experience the pain of his biggest dream getting shattered completely and talking to anyone would take his mind off from the entire experience which he didn’t want to even for a second. 

During the entire wedding, it was as if he was going through silent death within himself. With all the memories flashing at the back of his mind, he was looking at the stage where the bride and the groom finally exchanged garlands.

It was quite an experience for Raj, he was completely aware of each moment passing by. With the wedding done now, he left the venue. He drove to a far off place as he didn’t want anyone from the venue to catch hold of him. 

During the drive, he was unusually calm. After he drove enough, he stopped on an empty road.  All of a sudden, all the emotions from the deep recesses of his heart came ashore. With his mind racing now, he was able to feel the cold sweat of his hands, his heart racing and body trembling. 

What to do now? It felt as if the shards of his dreams were piercing his very being now. He got a thought that may be going to the bar would let him loose himself from himself and his now-shattered dream.

But then his conscience said, “You haven’t touched alcohol till date.” But the mind said, “There’s always a first time for everything in life.”

For a few moments, he was completely numb as if he wanted to understand what all had just happen.

He started to breathe deeply but gently. His mind was able to think clearly now, heart rate coming back to normal. Just then, these words murmured in his mind from a video he had watched:

“Everything is temporary. Nothing is permanent including your success and failure.”

Though he knew all this bookish knowledge, the conviction of the speaker in the video made it feel like truth. 

Raj got up slowly, resumed his path of life now, with his self-inquiry, the quest for his truth. 

"Beautiful beginnings are often disguised as painful endings" —— Lao Tzu

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Yash Dwivedi

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