Let me start with what Shri Hari says about Anger (no one can explain the affect of it better than Shri Hari Himself).

Bhagavad Gita: Chapter 2, Verse 63

क्रोधाद्भवति सम्मोह: सम्मोहात्स्मृतिविभ्रम: |
स्मृतिभ्रंशाद् बुद्धिनाशो बुद्धिनाशात्प्रणश्यति || 63||

Anger leads to clouding of judgment, which results in bewilderment of the memory. When the memory is bewildered, the intellect gets destroyed; and when the intellect is destroyed, one is ruined.

I am sure many of us have read this and experienced it. Let me share my experiences and truth:

  • Never reply on Emails immediately when you are angry with the person or with the context of the email. Because, when you are angry “YOU READ WHAT YOU WANT TO READ NOT WHAT MAIL WRITER WANTS TO SAY”. This i have learnt from my personal experience. Just read your own response after sometime you will realise the mistake. I followed the practice of replying on such emails after 30 mins or taking a break (if need to replied urgently). This actually changed my replies completely and were helpful in driving the discussion to closure.
  • Never loose your cool in group discussions with team/family. I have learnt that if your point can’t be understood by a group even after multiple attempt, it can never happen by raising voice or showing your anger. It can only make juniors say YES under pressure. Give some time and have another discussion that has helped me a lot.
  • With my kid i had biggest learning. If you have decided to teach your son/daughter a topic it doesn’t mean they have also decided the same on that day :). One day i decided to teach my son “Sight Words” but he wasn’t ready and with my anger i forced him to study for 15 mins. Obviously, the session was tough for both of us. Post the session, i had discussion with wife and she suggested why didn’t you pick another topics, this would have made your job easier. Actually, this helped, next day i discussed with my son before deciding on topic and he himself said today i will do maths and evening i will do sight words. It went amazingly well. For me, i learn a lot from wife because she epitome of patience!!  

 

Hope these learnings might help others as well!

Thanks,

Jaisi Hari Iccha!!

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ajay kant singh

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