Even after multiple scholarly degrees and journeying through approximately 10 different schools and 3 colleges, there came a startling point in my life where I found myself failing!
It was as if Vishnu was mocking me:-
“Read too many books, have ya? But even with your ability to comprehend so many books, you haven’t really read the ones that truly matter buddy! Let me throw a situation at you, and see which one of your software coding books will come to your help. Good luck kid!”
It was this situation that made me realize that I did not yet have some self-protecting or self-care wisdom, because it did not find its way to me due to my well-protected childhood and teenage.
I found myself lacking ludicrously when it came to reigning in my life through divine knowledge (for counsel) from both my own faith and the faith of the Catholics, in whose schools I grew up.
I was seeking intervention to anchor myself on a stable ground in the midst of a storm. A sneaky, severing storm that had taken me by surprise. This storm had hurtled me miles and miles away, across mountains and oceans, from my innocent self.
All I knew was a little bit of Ram & Krishna here and there from early childhood. And some witty, wise cartoons and fictional characters. Harry Potter, his friends, and his guide Dumbledore. Frodo Baggins, his fellowship, and his guide Gandalf. Aang(the coolest monk in animation town!), his bender gang, and his not one but many guides. But knowing about them was not enough.
I realized I am no cool Fruit Ninja, no Shaolin Monk, no hunky Samurai Jack, that I saw in animations or read about in comics. The purposeful, smart-looking monks attacked their problems with such ease as if slashing a fruit in mid-air, effortlessly and with precision! I could not slash away mine like them.
Ninjas master themselves, I need to master myself.
This was the only thought, then a wordless, formless yet potent thought that kept hankering at me. I listened to my inner self. This is what I needed. And so, I set off on my journey into the future – to get back to my original, innocent, content self – by mastering myself.
First came astrology, then came Vedic history and spirituality, to finally realizing three things:-
- Even the best of the best like Harry, Frodo and Aang had guides. Find a cool wise guide for myself. This was necessary to further break my ego, and to guide me across to my original source of happiness.
- Pick up parables, precedents and Puranas for learning. Many to be read!
- Raise my own lantern to show me the way. Remold myself through consistent practice. Practice what I listen and read. Be my own north star, mountains and oceans to be retraced and I am on my own.
Number 2 and Number 3 were something personal, internal and hence in my control mostly. Number 1 though was an external possibility that had the probability to not even manifest in person for me in this lifetime! It was not in my control whatsoever. So it literally became the number 1 goal for me. It became priority which demanded from me a constant internal search and questioning to myself – what was it that I truly wanted to achieve? And who could help me get it while being my inspiration at the same time?
I discovered Om Swami ji on YouTube.
Thank you YouTube! It proved to be just the right Tube that lead me to the humble and truthful You, Om Swami ji!
I had originally searched for videos on Dalai Lama and the other higher souls for finding my Dumbledore in them. YouTube, judging by my activity, suggested me Om Swami’s videos. I accepted the suggestions. Glad I did coz there was no turning back!
I was intrigued at first by his age, insight, simplicity and humor. He was some one much much younger in the tribe of enlightened witty monks. His his same love for afternoon siestas and books, same family background and professional field, connection to Punjab intrigued me further. Only after a handful videos did I come to fully comprehend his mastery in his field and unparalleled dedication towards his goal.
He is a walking, talking, real life Gandalf-the Ochre!
Chirping crickets! I was taken aback! Was it possible in this day and age?? I would go on to read later in his book that he himself had asked this question, to himself – was it possible in this day and age?
Yes it was possible! He had restored my faith. He had excited the child in me to venture out on an impossible looking quest.
Above all his achievements, I found him to be an extraordinary gentleman, because of his Satayugi conduct! His sadhana marathons are his past. He still meditated though, but in the cloak of secrecy. His mantra cookie jar was reserved only for his disciples. So his only escapade that remained on constant public display was his steadfast conduct.
A Tantrik Gentleman. Ever heard of one before? I Bet No!
A man who had become the divine masculine! A man who could inspire by his unfaltering conduct alone. His smudge-proof stainless steel like conduct was his armor that made him an unbeatable shining knight of Her Eternal Majesty, The Tripur-Sundari! One who had sworn never to curl his tongue for a lie! One who showed anger is nothing more than a vestigial organ like appendix, which could only harm but not serve anymore.
One whose wit could even tickle the most unfazed stern palatial guards of the English Queen. One who placed compassion before truth, as it ought to be, like bread before butter. One who was as transparent as air between you and me.
One, when he committed to a cause, stayed committed like the Sun is committed to bringing in the dawn and dusk. One who was patient and wise beyond his years, like an awe-inspiring prodigy.
My search had ended. I had found my Dumbledore, into whose Hogwarts I hope to be initiated someday. I had found the one whose legendary and spell-binding conduct itself, if I could inculcate and skip all the books, would help me trump my life. And inspire me to master the divine feminine, so I could once again be my own original source of innocence and eternal happiness!
Thanks again YouTube! (Although I am still your free user!)