First of all, anata koti dandavat at your lotus feet Swamiji (should I address you as Swamiji or avatar of god, I am confused!!!). Aap ke charankamalon mein yeh do naivedya samarpan kar raha hoon, kripaya sweekar kijiye (I am making 2 offerings at your lotus feet; oh, lord please accept the same).
My first international paper in ASME (American Society of Mechanical Engineers, in the Journal of Nuclear Engineering and Radiation Science with all your blessings, (I know, you did all the obstacle removal). Now all the accolades being showered upon me is actually yours. I was just the medium. I cannot fathom your coding capability, but somehow you hacked inside me and driven this stupid to the level where I met the journal’s standard requirements. (initially my paper was on the verge of rejection, I am not that smart! but what happened afterwards is History) The link is as below
The second offering at your lotus feet is my instagram account which I have created to post my photography collection. Previously, I had some inclination for the hobby, but of late this passion has flared up like anything ( I know you have redirected me towards nature and my inner connection has been modified by you) more inclined towards nature. When I am clicking the pics, I don’t know how they are coming out so beautiful (Here also hacking is pervading). Link of the insta account is as follows which is completely dedicated to you as you have guided my consciousness in this path.
Swamiji, actually who are you? Shall I call you devi maa, shall I address you as lord Shiva, shall I worship you as a mystic sadhu who had the vision of goddess, I am really confused. The only thing I am able to sort out is I have completely surrendered to you clinging to your lotus feet till my last breath.
I want to take the opportunity to thank Smt Voletti Madhavi and Shree Rohit for introducing me to you. To be very frank, before this, I had very little faith on the so-called Sadhus and Gurus because of the type of (mis)projections and wrong signals they sent to the society. But during my lowest phase ( I am not terming it as ‘clinical depression’ anymore as you have clarified my fundamentals in your blogs and videos), I tried very hard to concentrate on you, prayed you to save me at least for the sake of my family. (I am a bit selfish Guruji!!). The prayers of this divine os.me family and your own intervention (you broke into my mind, that also I can confess with utter confidence) has just created magic.
I had been continuously having a feeling of insecurity, god knows why, right from my childhood. I get bogged down very easily even with the minutest fluctuation. In Physics, as there are fundamental laws, in life also there are fundamental laws which you taught me very nicely. When I sometimes contemplate what happened to me in last several months, was totally under your supervision. You have shown me my faults (mainly the habit of procrastination and overlooking the little but important things) , how I panic under demanding situations and crumble down thinking me as a failure in face of slightest of problem. God has given me a strong support in form of my lovely and caring wife who has been by my side during all my good times and most importantly during my low phases.
As I opened up in my first post on 26th Nov 2020, regarding my vulnerability the moment I step out of my comfort zone, the kind and divine people of os.me family responded in an overwhelming manner without any judgement or prejudice. I am grateful to Medha ji, for the shout out. My special gratitude goes to Vrinda maa, Patel ji, Kirtee OM ji, Pavan ji, Sushree Diya OM ji, Manoharan ji and all others who assured me to hold my back in the raging storm until Swamiji, with his special coding capability, hacked into my brain and re-wrote the entire booting sequence.
- Incidentally on the same date I had my Psychiatrist visit. He prescribed me loads of Anti-depressants, sleeping peels and what not, which started destroying my health. More fear was generated. I was literally afraid to go to office. I was trembling and shaking, eyes burning, no appetite. My height is 5-11 and from a weight of 71 Kgs, I slid down to 66 Kg with severe weakness, loss of interest in literally anything. I began to think that I was nearing my end. (Even I took term plan also, as they promised me that full amount will be given to my family even if I commit suicide after 1 year of commencement of the policy!!!). I was spiralling and doctor told me I will be back to normal after 6 to 7 months.
Then slowly I started some rituals suggested by you in your blogs, books and videos. My eyes would not open, still I dragged me to the Puja room with immense pain. I decided to discontinue the medication as it was doing more harm than good, I was approaching a zombie state. Then the miracle happened. I started to crawl slowly out of the whirlpool (not washing machine brand!). Day by day my condition started improving. You programmed my boss in office to immensely supported me in this phase allowing me time to settle down. Then you sent me the very talented Manish (plz see my previous blog post for detailed about Manish) who just effortlessly mingled with me and together we started solving problems one by one.
Special mention of Vrinda maa’s book “The prayer that never fails” which is now my sleeping peel!!! I put the book under my pillow and drift into sleep effortlessly since then. So much relaxation and peace in Vrinda maa’s lap, really indescribable, words fall short. In the morning, I get up as if a phone is 100% charged and ready to run throughout the day. Now, personally I am very confident even in the face of failure. I have started learning the art of doing things with a little vairagya (detachment) as suggested by you Swamiji. I am removing the ‘I’ness from the work I am doing. People around me are amazed by this transformation. I was compassionate before also to some degree. But now, I am feeling more of it. I am trying to help the needy as per my strength. I am trying my best not to reveal that I am helping, trying to do it anonymously. I am trying to help my collogues to resolve their problems. Now they are terming that I have been hyperactive (without any psycho drug of course !!!), they are amazed at the speed at which I am operating. I know it is not me, your special BIOS prog. and other special codings which are just running my neurons at such speed. Your code is really optimized to do wonders; simple yet very very powerful.
Now my appetite is back on track, yesterday I breached 70 Kg mark (my wife is suspecting that I will become fat if I continue to eat like in this Bakasura style!!). Equally I am hungry intellectually as well as spiritually taking some really amazing decisions attributable to your reprogramming. I am changing at a rapid rate and may give a tough chase to arrhenius equation. My perception is changing, I am enjoying the birds bathing in the bird bath of our house. And all these happened much before the six seven months as told by my doctor. The garden which looked morbid a few months ago is now full of life. The day I offered a flower from the garden to your photo, there is no dearth of flower to offer to god. Your mystic smile is becoming very mysterious at times as if telling me how nirbodh I was (still I have a lot of stupidity and childishness in me). I am no longer me, you are getting things done via me only as a medium as I mentioned previously.
I want to convey the same message to the masses who are in the grip of depression, it is very much possible to defeat depression / low phase with deep faith in god.
Still I have to go a long way, but I have no fear as you are driving me.
—A grateful disciple with a strong desire to physically fall flat at your lotus feet in near future.
PS: Medhaji, please please please try to keep this letter in front of Swamiji. His one glance of this letter will be enough for my soul to sense divinity. If possible, plz convey this letter to Sadhvi Vrinda also.
One more time, my sincere request is to please donate my karma earnings to the needy.