M: I am warning you for the fourth time today, behave yourself, stop throwing unnecessary tantrums or else you will be punished
D: (shouting and crying loudly)….i am behaving well……can’t you see…you never ever do anything for me…I will cry…I will shout….
M: (calmly) you wanted to go boating, you wanted to eat pizza and both these things were fulfilled today, what is your new demand?
D: I don’t l know …still shouting
M: then why are you throwing tantrums, calm yourself else today I will have to break my sankalpa of not touching you in anger
D is still shouting and crying without any words, and at the max volume
M: (slapped her chin with 2 fingers of her right hand) …enough……it is enough….you now need to understand that there is a limit to everything and you cannot win any argument always by shouting and crying…
D got super angry, clenching her teeth, shouting more and more….
M: get inside you room now and no need to come out until you realise what went wrong. (Instructs her husband while locking D inside—please open the door once you see she is trying to open from inside)
(M goes for her routine work, leaving D upstairs locked inside the dressing room, feeling guilty of breaking her sankalpa. She vowed on December 20th, 2020 to never hit D come what may , for 30 days. And today, after 63 days she had to do that, but with divine grace she was still mindful of not hurting D but to scare her)
After 10 minutes, D comes downstairs, looks for M and immediately hugs M and says Sorry …I am really sorry, can we talk?
M Agrees without uttering a single word.
D: Why did I behave this way today?
M: you need to ask yourself
D: I just felt upset and angry
M: what was the reason, what bothered you, why were you angry?
D: I don’t know. I have a question
M: Go ahead
D: Am I a bad girl?
M: No, not at all..you are a blessing and God sent, how can you be bad?
D: but I felt angry
M: So what?
D: Is it okay to be angry?
M: Of course, it is okay sometimes to be angry
D: then why don’t you allow me to be angry
M: I said, it is okay to be angry. BUT it is not Ok to shout in anger, it is not ok to be cruel in anger, it is not ok to show disrespect in anger and it is not okay to say anything that comes to your mind in anger.
D: If I do not do any of these things, I can still be angry?
M: Yes you can still be angry
D: but I do not want to be angry, what should I do?
M: (Editor’s post came in mind)….why don’t you simply go back to your room and do that OM chanting which I had taught you
D: but you don’t chant OM, you simply sit and close your eyes
M: you may do that but if you chant OM your anger will vanish soon as God will understand you as OM is his favourite language
D: Thanks M. I love you. Can I hug you?
M: of course.
Now whenever M see that D is losing her calm, she simply directs D her to room, without uttering any single word. And in 10 minutes both M and D talks their heart out and things get sorted easily. D always comes back and say GOD understood my OM and took my anger away.
This is based on a real story between 35 year old M and her 5 year old D.
His grace is immense. Jai Sri Hari.