Anger and Ma…
Many a times when I Tell my loved ones, “Control your anger.”, they tell me, “Okay I will keep it in check.”, and then they simply start acting cool and fine as if nothing is bothering them.
The thing which I noticed that people think controlling their anger means repressing and suppressing it or maybe not showing it or expressing it, so in the end they simply bottle up their own SODA like BUBBLING anger.
I was recently asked by someone as to what does controlling your anger exactly mean, I took a little amount of time to put what I know in words and this is what I realized…
I told the person, If I ask you to control the car while driving it, I don’t expect you nor do I mean for you to stop the car in the middle of the road. Rather it means for you to drive and steer the car responsibly in such a manner that the journey continues in a smooth manner.
I also realized something after looking at Mother Kali….
What I learned looking at Ma Kali’s image, Mother Kali’s tongue is out in most of her images and her idols, she is the embodiment of the Divine Mother in her most ferocious form. Her anger can simply destroy the universe.
Personally, the representation in which her tongue is out tells me that during the time when I am experiencing anger, She, is asking me to Have COMPLETE CONTROL ON MY TONGUE, as during the times of anger we only want to shout and curse and not listen. We cannot speak with our tongues out and not speaking during that time means breaking free from the clutches of ego and false pride.
As in anger we tend to speak anything which is insulting, detrimental, abusive and harmful for our bonds and relationships. And in the state of anger, our EGO or False Pride is the one which is offended the most and hence we only get defensive and aggressive in a manner to hurt the one who has offended us. When, one controls his tongue in anger, one eventually learns to control his mind and learns to remain calm.
One more thing; if your head is all heated up and you can feel fire in your chest, remove your tongue out and breathe through the mouth, it really calms the system down. You also look a little silly and funny, might help you to laugh on yourself, it is good to laugh at yourself.
(disclaimer: please do this exercise alone and not in front of your boss, if you are doing this in front of your girlfriend or your wife please make sure you have had a double mint or a happy dent as bad odour from your mouth will push them away, hey that’s a good thing for a while huh? But yes, there will be no healthy dinner or lunch for you, that’s inevitable then and sleeping on the floor or the couch is also fixed. XD)
This exercise or simply being mindful of what you are uttering helps you calm down and once you calm down you can speak more responsibly. If you see this from an inner point of view, you will realise when the tongue comes in control and your speech becomes more conscious; then during an argument you won’t dig up the past, you will stick to the present and you will make sure that you put your views calmly and in a responsible manner. Then abusive words and insults aren’t hurled at the other person. Controlling your anger isn’t about suppressing it, it is about learning to Express it in a responsible manner and moving from a zone of UNCONTROLLED REACTION to a Zone of RESPONDING RESPONSIBLY.
Through our anger we are only trying to express our vulnerabilities which are hidden deep down in our hearts, channelising your anger in the right manner can help you discover that spectrum within and also help you see the wounds and the scars of the other person.
Thank you for reading till here, may you all have an amazing day ahead!!
Grateful to Swamiji and everyone in this community!!