Hey there, take the new upgrade!

You there, the consumer, do you know that we have come with a new upgrade to our most loved, ultra-thin, 10G connectivity, smash the genius mind smartphone, now it is Super Mega Ultra Dynamic Note 8.0 Pro Max Universal Series Version Update.

This will revolutionize the entire world, it will make cats bark and dogs meow, and make you so highly productive creative genius multitasker that you can handle your 10 children with one hand and the business with the other.

Affordable Price

Well, with our highly sophisticated new device through which you can even conquer the whole world costs you only a minimal price of 40 trillion dollars ONLY. To perform the seamless purchase, we have many payment gateway options ranging from the credit-debit card, UPI wallets, gf/bf wallets, kidney licensing* ( *terms and conditions apply), broke identity cards, sell your entire saving solutions Pvt. ltd., and some other payment gateways which are illegal in office region (for that matter, contact iWillMakeYouSuffer@dieMail.com).

Cameras Update

Our new action-packed, James Bond-ready, camera set is equipped with so deep, wide pixelated lenses that now you don’t need to use your eyes. You can exchange them for our new Premium model * (for that matter dieMail id is given above in the illegal payment gateway section).

New upgrade: Now we have not just 8 or 10 cameras, actually we replaced the entire back screen with camera glasses (which are switched ON all the time). Don’t behave like animals, we no longer walk on our legs, neither we need to, and the same way you don’t need your dumb eyes to look, we have got a new replacement for it. Just fit the phone in your VR and you are ready! You have eyes with naughty night vision, remove sad suffering face mode, black guys look white mode, chitty-cat-meow meow mode, and whatnot.

Advertisements

Oh! This guy was a dumb, lazy, careless fellow, then he purchased our new LIFE-CHANGING departed from heaven model, and now see the next scene, these hot, highly paid no-haired, plastic surgery masked girls are mad about him and dancing and chasing him!

You know this will what exactly our new model has to offer you, girls! And yeah, you will gain six-packs too if you purchase our double Adaline shot steroid stuffed trainer, gym pack software, with an extra discount costing not more than your hunger ONLY.

Durability, Power, and Strength (DPS)

Our new model, of which you must be mad by now (because we have spent billions on ads) has DPS strength.

The new great grand arrival is ready to replace your hammer, but handle with care, if it slips from your hand, you lost it forever, or immediately rush to the dentist for breaking away your 3 molar and incisor tooth!

Battery life is so amazing that you can last longer in bed!

Durability is subject to fade away until our next breathtaking (and pocket-snatching) product upgrade arrives.

 

 

** All of our products are subject to addictive, life defeating, self-loathing, relationship breaking, and some more dangerous market risks use at your own fault.

 

Episode 1 here.

 

 

Photo by MART PRODUCTION from Pexels

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