If you observe carefully, when you’re in ego, your gestures lose the humility; there’s a sense of assertion or resistance in your gestures; your hands or feet are propelled by energy of anger or pride that you’re a special being or the boss and can pounce on others.
Observe your face, feel its muscles, there’s no longer that childlike smile, that softness, that shyness and instead, a stiffness, a tightening of the muscles or a dead-like dryness has taken over, likely with wrinkles or contractions of anger or pride.
Observe your speech, it no longer has the politeness; the tenderness that cares. Rather, it’s either full of self-aggrandizing or scornful toward others.
Observe your thoughts, they are devoid of love, gentleness and genuine kindness; when ego has taken over your thoughts, they become transactional, calculative. Apart from full of false sense of superiority, self-praising, thoughts of contempt for others’ capabilities and belittling their contributions will be frequent.
When you’re not in gross ego, you feel connected to the lord. there’s a child-like smile and shyness in your face, you feel overwhelming love for the lord and compassion for beings around you. you feel peaceful and everything seems alright.
A subtle ego still remains, you continue to experience a sense of individuality and separation from lord but this ego in my view isn’t harmful.
When you’re in gross ego, that child-like smile, that shyness is gone, you no longer feel love for the lord. rather, you may experience negative thoughts rising for even the lord; thoughts of conflict, complaints, anger. And you’ve to distract your mind or fight with it to not think such thoughts.
Okay, you’ve recognized that you are under the spell of ego. The next question is, how to break it?
I’d write about my personal methods in some future post!