DISCOURSE – 4 (March 30, 2021)
If you hurt somebody, even involuntarily, if you speak harsh words and hurt someone’s heart, or if your thoughts, words, karma, or sentiments hurt any creature and gives them grief, no matter what the reason was, then just understand this : Abandon the dream of God. There will be no relationship left with Him, far and wide.
20:46 – 32:00 : Every person has some good qualities. And, in our society, there is this norm that whether they would consider any person to be either “completely” good, or they would consider him/her to be “completely” bad. If the person whom he/she considers good, if by chance, there is one disagreement, then they say, “This person isn’t good at all!”. For example, if I speak something good about Osho, then there certainly exist some great people, who will come and say, “But he used to do this. He used to do that…”. O brother! It was his life, he can do what he wants to do! If you found any of Osho’s talks good, then you can accept it.
What is the difference between a fly and a honeybee? Have you ever thought about it? A honeybee always goes and sits on “Flowers”. She knows from where I have to intake what. And as a result of that, she prepares Honey. On the other hand, A fly goes and sits on “Dirt”. Her job is to transport bacteria from one place to the other. And hence, the fly is always restless. No matter how great a runner you are, you cannot catch a Fly! She would fly away. And as far as a mosquito is concerned, maybe God has made him to exclaim, “Hey, not everything is in your hands!”.
So, the tendencies of the 84 lakh (8.4 million) species are found in humans only! Someone is like a cow, some are like dogs, some are like pigs, someone roars like a lion, while some are like flies.
जब आप किसी दुसरे व्यक्ति के बारे में अच्छा बोलते हैं, ये कितनी सूक्ष्म और गहरी बात है, उसमे आपका कुछ नहीं लग रहा (When you speak good about the other person, this is such a subtle and deep matter, you will lose nothing because of it)! Before speaking, you take out your wallet, and count the money. After speaking, you take out your wallet, and count again. It will be same! Nothing will reduce, neither your bank balance will reduce, nor will your tongue dry up, nor will you start feeling hungry, neither you have to pay any taxes. And, it may even be possible that the other person “gives” you something instead!! (Laughter).
You have to pay nothing, except one thing : अपने अहंकार को थोड़ा पीछे रखना होगा। (You have got to keep your ego behind). And this is what doesn’t happen. अपने अहंकार को पीछे रखकर, यदि दुसरे के भीतर इश्वर को देख लिया जाए, तो स्तुति के अलावा और रह ही क्या जाएगा। (Putting your ego behind, if you can see God inside the other person, then nothing will remain except praise/glorification). What else will a person be able to do, except praising? The person who pervades and supports this entire creation, in a fraction of His being, then this means that even that fraction is His being only!
अथवा बहुनैतेन किं ज्ञातेन तवार्जुन |
विष्टभ्याहमिदं कृत्स्नमेकांशेन स्थितो जगत् ||
atha vā bahunaitena kiṁ jñātena tavārjuna
viṣhṭabhyāham idaṁ kṛitsnam ekānśhena sthito jagat
What need is there for all this detailed knowledge, O Arjuna? Simply know that by one fraction of my being, I pervade and support this entire creation.
– Bhagavad Gita Chapter 10, Verse 42
O Kaunteya (Arjuna), I sustain the entire creation with a fraction of my being, with a spark of my splendour. What is the need to know anything beyond this?
जब किसी को बोला जाए, तो अच्छा ही बोला जाए। (Whenever you speak to someone, speak good only). Please keep this in mind. Even if you have to speak something bad, then that too can be spoken in a good way.
A long time back, I had told you this incident : Once, a husband arrives at his house, and his wife cooks Roti for him. The husband says, “You are becoming prettier day by day!”. The wife came running towards him and said, “Oh! Really? How come?”. The husband replied, “Look, seeing you, even Rotis bhi jal rhi hain (Even Rotis are feeling jealous – Getting burnt)!”. (Laughter).
Now, tell me one thing. If you have to tell another person about their burnt Roti, and if you are speaking in such a way, do you think that the other person will feel bad?
So, let me tell you a beautiful thing : जब आपको किसी के साथ कोई वार्तालाप करना होता है, जब किसी के साथ कोई बात करनी होती है, उससे पहले आप एक चीज़ अवश्य मन ही मन तय कर लेना : कि मुझे इसको नीचा दिखाना है, या मुझे इससे कुछ चाहिए? (When you are about to have a conversation with someone, when you have to talk to someone, before that, you must decide one thing in mind: Do I have to demean this person, or do I need something from them?). If you have to demean, then I can’t say anything about it! Do what you want to do. But, if you want to repair/strengthen your relationship with them, or if you want something from them, then first of all, you must first lift the spirits of that person. Tell him/her about their good qualities. So that, they may think, “Yes, although my criticism is going on, but it is being done on the basis of Truth alone”. If you keep on telling them that “You are very bad. You are lousy etc.”, then why will that person listen to you at all? There is no reason for him/her to listen to you.
So, a lot of times, if you want to live in Harmony, then there must be some goodness in the relationship, this is possible when there is some Truth in the relationship, when the other person feels that “Yes. I too have a place in this relationship”. And for that, not much is required. Only : कटु वचन बोलने से पहले थोड़ा विचार कर लेना चाहिए। (Before uttering harsh words, you must think about it). Question yourself : “What purpose will these harsh words solve?”. For example, in your house, the food was prepared, and there was extra salt in it. So, one approach is that, at that very moment, you lash out on that person, “Your food is never good at all! It has been 20 years, and still you don’t know how to make food” etc etc. What will you gain from that? The second approach is, you eat your food, and after finishing it, you tell that person with love, “Salt was a bit high”. And even better than this is that, the next time the person is preparing food, then you say that “Last time, salt was a bit high. So be careful this time”. So, the main purpose behind telling someone that salt was on the higher side is that, the next time, salt is proportionate. Making the other person’s life miserable isn’t your purpose!
So, a lot of times, if two people sit and initiate a conversation, it becomes a quarrel. A gory war begins, without the use of any physical weapons. And then, both of them leave in their own directions, as both of them forgot the main purpose behind why they sat to talk.
Once, in Iraq, Mulla Nasruddin happened to be the uncle of a child named Hameed. Hameed used to go to school. His teacher used to say, “This child is useless. He would do nothing in his life”. The principal called his mother and told, “We will not be able to teach your child in our school. He doesn’t do anything well. We are rusticating this child from our school”. The mother becomes very sad upon hearing this. So, the mother left the village. After some years, the principal of that school had a heart attack. So, he goes to the nearby town to get the surgery done. There, the doctor somehow manages to save his life. So, the principle says, “I want to meet the doctor”. So, the doctor comes to meet him. Now, the principal was about to speak and suddenly, he dies. The people come to know that a cleanliness staff had replaced his oxygen arrangement with a Vacuum cleaner!! And that staff was Hameed only!(Huge Laughter).
So, what I mean to say is that, some people are owls, and they will remain owl only!