Let me just start by talking about how my mind works.

Whenever something transpires in my life, that makes me happy or sad, sad more predominantly than happy, my mind tends to break down the whole event to see how it could have been different so I suffered less. And I suffer more from those thoughts than the event itself.

In the month of April, suddenly, my life came crashing down and hit rock bottom after my Appa left this world after suffering from Covid.

It was quick, an unimagined and never thought about situation that suddenly transpired. I was dumb struck with grief, everyday was a different level of difficulty, just to live. And now, after 8 months from that event, I still relive the pain I went through that time more often than the pain I have when his absence is felt. I spent countless days unconsciously thinking about why it happened, why it happened the way it happened. Countless thoughts wiped my days and nights off altogether.

Slowly as I began to focus and being mindful, I started telling myself that it happened a certain way and it has ended now, reminded myself over and again that it could have been worse… over time this has given me the strength to live better, more mindfully and gratefully.

To everyone who walks the same path, please listen, it could have been worse, be grateful. 

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Aparna Seshadri

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