Is this EGM a heads up with out any decision to be made … all decision seemed done?  This comment from a resident got to me. I was angry

At the annual general meeting of our apartment, we were presenting for approval on a major and urgent civil work . Approval was necessary as per the bylaws. During the Q&A session, this question rattled me, I was furious. My response was no more a polite one but factual and hard hitting , which thankfully remained under my lips. His question seemed to nullify our efforts in finding the best possible solution which is the responsibility of association office bearers, especially when it was from a person who himself was earlier an office bearer of the association, in the same position.  There was a hidden agenda. 

I have taken pride in the fact that over period last few years, I have managed to avoid Anger. There is distinction between not getting angry and controlling the expression of anger. I have been careful not to suppress the anger. When suppressed, it build up to burst like a volcano some day. Instead i have tried to address the underlying feeling of inflated ego, pride which fuel anger.  Much of it has come from  my previous  practices of Yoga then Kriya yog then Vippassana, and now with Om Swami’s blessings, #BlackLotus meditation practices and two philosophies which have guided my choices; 

अहिंसा मन वचन और कर्म की…. ‘Non-Voilence of Thoughts, words and Action’ the underlying gist of Jainism

The other one is ”  अनिच्चिय”, that everything is temporary. 

” Annichiya”: Though i first related to this concept during Vippasana sessions … I understand it as a common principle to Jainsim, Buddhism, Sanatan dharma, almost all dharma. This one,  ‘Its temporary’…. keeps me from getting angry and the other one Ahimsa of vachan, words ……keeps me from an angry response.  Together they are a complimentary. I guess it helped me today as well from angry outburst but I did get angry and there started this inquiry.; What triggered my Emotional Brahmos? 

The weapon of mind – Emotional Brahamos of anger hate , jealousy comes first and foremost, then this missile bursts into the bombing of words,  Thereafter follows the external Brahamos , be it a gun, sword or Bomb. Anger inside precedes the use of weapons outside. So I have always tried to look at the source of anger and on many occasions i have manged to stay clam but it got triggered today.  Its not about the tools we use to overcome anger that has already arisen, like letting go or compassionate response, it’s about not letting anger take birth in the first place.

My thoughts were that someone can’t control my feelings just by using some words and I still have triggers which can get better of me. I slept over it and the my calm mind gave me this response Its probably that he has done something wrong earlier about which i harbour a negative image of this person and that’s what surfaced today. Then I had not put up a fight. I choose to bear a bit of loss in lieu of a fight. Many times at important junctures in life, I have chosen to stay calm over getting angry which have left me peaceful inside and pauper outside (figure of speech).  That’s not really good for a house holder. A house holder needs both शास्त्र Wisdom and शस्त्र Weapon. So, i am questioning that wisdom today with you Householders. If you are not a monk or Modi, you are a householder, married or unmarried. 

And the question is, if you had to choose to respond with a emotional Brhamos missile while peace is an option, in which situation do you consider it right to exercise it? When and where do you draw the line? Dip into your life experience when you had to choose one? If you have had brahmos which fired right, share the insights. And of course example of life threatening situation are exempted.

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Vejay Mehta

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