Last week I was traveling by train.While sitting beside the window I was looking at the railway track.I started observing it and suddenly a flashback ….this railway track has deep connection with my life…how can I forget..?
I was only one and half year old when my father committed suicide on railway track due to business loss.I have no memory in my mind with my father. I was too young.My elder brother and sister used to tell me about him that he was a loving father. How Daddy used to carry my sister on his back and helped her to take bath,he had fair complexion.He used to bring toys, clothes and precious gifts for our mother.They used to tell me I was a shy girl and when he called me from upstairs by a nickname given by him “RITURAJ” I used to stand in stairs and hesitate to face him .He arranged doll’s marriage for my sister…I used to hear all these when I used to see toys brought by our Daddy .
But I still have many questions in my mind that I wanted to ask from my siblings like when did they see Daddy last time?How was he looking ?What was their reaction when they heard this news that Daddy will never come back …but never dared to ask them. I feel like I will start crying while asking all these ….I just wanted to leave these painful memories and vent them out.
I grew up without a father …my mother was a sober lady with a lot of patience .I can understand the importance of parents, especially father.We learnt many things from our mother and will always remain grateful for that but I wanted to ask my Daddy why he left us on the way just like that?
If you brought us into this world you should also have courage to face it.Father is the backbone of family ..All my siblings and I lack confidence, because we were brought up in our maternal uncle’s house.Our cousins let us feel down from time to time.
Whenever…I saw any daughter along with her father till now I miss you… Daddy …Why did you deprive me to utter this beautiful word Daddy ?…may be I have spoken it when I was toddler but I haven’t any memory.
Daddy Can you heal that pain ? I still remember when my friends asked me about the reason for your death, I used to tell them it was an accident .
It was just a way to venting out of these painful emotions and there is this beautiful family os.me to share .
Hope you all can understand the emotions of a daughter.