Another lover has broken your Heart. You’ve been left biting the dust again, back to the helpless belonging of broken things. You are again at the mercy of strangers and friends. Family was always non-existent so, their absence in an hour of need is not a new loss to mourn.
Finding love or the desperate seeking of it will never remedy your brokenness. It will not heal your past or give closure to your angry Heart. ‘Loving’ alone will never be enough, unless you accept yourself and perhaps begin to love yourself too.
There will never be an equal-ideal world, where people are all free of choices and fates. Here, everyone will have to fight for themselves, for what they believe in, if they are to survive. Love will not exclude the battles of mind-heart, class-caste and other binaries. You will have to resolve your chaos; Gender and genes can’t be blamed for too long.
Handicapped dreams will have to re-invent themselves and props of belonging and sharing must be rebuilt with what and where you belong with. The homelessness you feel in this dysphoric society will have to find its own community. Your madness will have to have an aim, a name. And Love? Love will not remove any complaint or causticity you bear towards the world. But surely it will tell you that you don’t need to carry the baggage alone.
Remember to build a home in yourself; a peaceful place where you live and repose. A church where you hear the sanctified verses of your own human Heart. Because, Maya, the world we inhabit is less a manifestation of God than it is a creation of Humankind. Prayers are evocations of our own Powers, magnanimous deeds, the fruition of Effort and Will. Our stories surmise History and Philosophy but the musing of minds. Spirituality is the expression of our Divinity and Love is ceaseless Compassion borne of the Soul. To such lineage you belong, never demean yourself anymore!
A tear of your Self-Compassion will wash away the deluge of Guilt and Doubt. A bond of Trust with yourself is more efficient than a hundred appraisals. The Love you bleed out to the world, deserves your own relish as much as anyone else does. Dear Maya, before you love another, love yourself 1% more.
(Swamiji’s post, one which i read quite a few years back, ever remains a hopeful note of wisdom in my tumultuous life. It’s called “A Word on Love”)