Love is a beautiful thing, isn’t it? Those butterflies in the stomach, the excitement that wakes you up everyday, looking forward to special moments at weekends and dreaming about a hopeful future together – surreal if you ask me! You found your soulmate, the man or woman of your dreams and now you’re unstoppable. At least that’s how it feels at the beginning, and gradually your entire life starts revolving around this one person. As this happens though, and we drown in this newfound world of ecstatic love, we start neglecting everything else, everyone else and ourselves too. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, initially. However, as time goes by, routine and familiarity kick in. This lovely person whom we were so deeply in love with some months back, becomes a ‘normal’ part of our life, arguments start to become more frequent, our expectations from them rise, love and emotions play hide and seek, then we start to remember that we exist too. Actually we wonder if we exist and who we are. But it hurts our brain to think so hard, so we go with the flow and avoid thinking altogether. This turn of events is even more common after marriage, I suppose. I know I know, I have painted a rather grim picture of love, but that’s not my point at all. My point and purpose today is to tell you something very important. Here’s what:
Don’t Forget Yourself. Ever.
Yes, girls and boys, relationships are beautiful, love is beautiful, intimate bonds are unique, but at the end of the day there are three aspects of your life which all need an equal amount of attention, because if we make an individual the centre of our world, our world will keep rocking like a boat in stormy seas. It isn’t pleasant. At all. If you’re a young adult, or a teenager, whether you are in a relationship or single, this post is for you. If you’re married too. Basically, this post is for you, whoever you are or are not. Okay jokes aside, what are these three aspects that require equal attention in your life? Read on.
1. Your friends and family.
Often, these people are usually the only constant in our lives. Most of us have at least one good friend, and family members who are especially close to us. However, as soon as someone new walks into our life, as a partner, we start neglecting those precious relationships. I have observed this amongst my friends. As soon as adulthood kicks in, and relationships take over, they forget that they have friends, and struggle to even squeeze in a day out with their close friend or their family. Don’t make that mistake. I plead guilty too. Your friends and family have been here for you, and they probably shall remain here. Make time for them, they will feed your soul and lift you up. Don’t end up making the guy your entire world, even worse, don’t make his friends your only friends. No! You wouldn’t want your whole world to come crashing down and not have a loving den to go back to.
So, after reading this post, go schedule yourself a date with your friends. Now.
2. You! Yes, You!
You are the most important part of your life. You. Yes, you. Do you know yourself? Do you understand yourself? What makes you happy? How do you enjoy your me-time? We cannot make another person the centre of our world, they have their own will and will not live according to our rules. But we can make ourselves and our Self, the centre of our world. As Om Swami says, if you cannot spend time with yourself without getting bored, how can you expect others to spend time with you and not get bored? You are pretty amazing, but you just have to figure out how you can believe in your own awesomeness. Go back to your childhood and your happy single days. What made you happy? Take up those things again. Or ask yourself what you’d regret at 80 years old. Give yourself a purpose, a cause to dedicate yourself to. That’s you sorted.
3. Your Career.
My ancestors had a saying:
“Your career is your first husband.”
As you transition into adulthood, after tasting life, you’ll realise that it’s the truth. If you’re young and still figuring out life, focus on your career. Ensure that you have a skill, a goal, a dream or a career to fall back on. Guys and girls come and go, but you will remain. You will spend the rest of your life with yourself. If you’re fulfilled and independent, you’ll notice that the variables around your life will bother you less as they shift.
Personally, from experience, I’d strongly recommend any youngster to not get married young, at least not before 25. Life is still young and so are you. What’s the rush?
Bottom line is that when someone enters your life and love overwhelms you, always remember those three aspects of your life. Nurture them, love them and complement them with your lover. But don’t neglect those three aspects, because God forbid that one day that person ghosts you, orbits you, changes or stops to live up to your expectations, then at least you will have a pretty good chance of falling back on these three comfortable pillows (aspects).
Don’t forget yourself. Know yourself, save yourself, prepare yourself and enjoy yourself.
Life has a lot to teach you, and for that you must be free. Free from ties, free from conditioning and free from unnecessary self-inflicted challenges. Be free, love freely, ties can wait. I have written this post based on my own experience after observing my friends and choosing to take different decisions compared to the crowd. I am contented and it pains my heart to see many women trapped in situations which they wish to get out of. Plus, I was procrastinating about writing this post but I could no longer ignore Anu’s request. She was threatening to steal my desserts. Just kidding. She hasn’t yet:)