We, humans, are rationally irrational. While we try and find a reason for everything that happens around us, when it comes to some of our own decisions, we are just unable to decide why we chose what we did. And when on the receiving side of such situations, it’s best not to ‘push it’. Here are some examples:

  • You had been eyeing this girl in the class for a while. You were sure she was ‘the one’. One day, you finally muster the courage and go ahead and approach her for a date. And she says no. – Don’t Push It.
  • You had been looking forward to the quarterly announcement. It was an excellent year for you professionally, and a lot of people appreciated the work you had done. You and your boss have had a perfect relationship, and he had the authority to promote you. You open the email with the list announcing the promotions for the year. You find your name is missing. You immediately stand to, in anger, wanting to storm the boss’s cabin for an explanation. Don’t Push It.
  • You are keen to go out for a movie and have made all the plans as you reach the hostel room. What movie to watch, what to have dinner after that, etc.The movie stars your roommate’s favourite actor, and he mentioned he was keen to watch it. As you enter the room, excited and share the plan, the roomie is not interested. He has own reasons he does not share. You try hard to convince him to change. Don’t push it.
  • You answered all the questions nicely. It was one of your best attempts in the recent past. You are sure to get a 10/10. When you get the answer sheet, you are stunned. It’s a SIX. Just 6 out of 10? Flabbergasted, you get up from your desk, ready to walk up to the teacher or give a clear explanation. Don’t push it.
  • It’s the meeting of the year for you. CEO of the top 5 clients, a global MNC, Fortune 100 customer. They have shown interest in your product. Right from researching the social and professional profile of the CEO to understanding his tastes in grotesque detail and understanding the politics within the firm, you have done every bit of research on how the presentation will go. Crisp ten slides to the point present, right to the last t. And you execute it dream-like. You catch a breath to get back to your seat. Not only is the CEO not looking amused, but he is also busy on his bloody phone texting someone!! You almost show off ur anger with your face getting red before reality hits you and you calm yourself down. You are keen to ask for feedback. Don’t push it.

Etiquette expert Sara Jane Ho says that it mostly takes people no more than 2 seconds of the first impression to make a decision. JUST TWO SECONDS. 

And once a poor impression is formed, it takes 8 meetings to reverse it. EIGHT MEETINGS.

It’s harsh. It’s cruel and its outright UNFAIR. but its the truth. People form impressions and make decisions for the most irregular reasons. ‘I did not like his tie’, ‘uski naak tedi thee’, and what not. It’s simply beyond human efforts to be prepared for such whims. One has just quietly to accept it and leave it at that. While the need is to prepare for the worst, one should not always, HOPE FOR THE BEST. Karm kar, phal ki chinta mat kar. We should still not let our guard down. There should not be any let up in effort, only toning down of expectations. That’s all.