Letter meditate karma inner self suicidal
Every incident in life teaches you something. – learnt it from the elders and also experienced it myself. Though the lesson learnt maybe bitter but it has taught you something. In spite of reading and listening about the importance of gratitude, it is one habit which I haven’t been able to instill in myself. Maybe because of the half glass empty and not half glass full attitude. Around 2 months ago, I got up with excruciating pain in my lower back. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t get up from the bed without support. As the Covid cases were high here I refused to go for physiotherapy to the hospital. I was finding it difficult to go to the washroom unattended. I was lying flat on bed  without being able to turn without support.        
  Anyways to cut a long story short, after 15 days of misery I finally went for physiotherapy. After 10 sessions with the doctor,  I was technically okay and there was nothing more to be done. Very often I have done Swami ji’s gratitude meditation- in which he tells to be grateful that we can look after ourselves and have a comfortable bed to sleep in. 21 days of terrible pain made realize the true value of that meditation. I had been doing it regularly but the meaning finally sunk in now ,when I was helpless and dependent on others . Did I suffer -YES but I also finally figured out the true meaning of gratitude.These days I am walking with a belt for support but am very happy at least I am walking!!! And self sufficient too. 

PS – the doctor finally diagnosed it saying I must have had asymptomatic Covid and this lower back pain and numbness is very common. 🤔🤔.  All reports are normal so I guess we can blame Covid for it . 

PPS – I am much better now but still continuing with my gratitude routine 🤞🤞.