I wanted to write this one from a long time. Finally, it comes.
In today’s world, it’s such that most of the people have lots of suppressed emotions, subconscious traumas and mental garbage due to years of suppression and past experiences. When such person sits for meditation/chanting, the first thing he/she faces is the poison of such suppressed emotions instead of tranquility of mind. But consciously addressing these can help deepen any spiritual practice. It also helps in promoting overall emotional and mental well being. If you have already gone past these issues, you may not require this post.
We are not born wise. By developing virtues such as acceptance, forgiveness, etc we can improve our emotional side in present, but what about the past? Those traumas, those unpleasant experiences which were not in your control? We all have such accumulated hurt. And no matter how much knowledge you gain, you cannot deal with those issues with knowledge. Even if you have forgiven on a surface level, the inner child can remain hurt. The suppressed emotions can lead to physical diseases too, such diseases are specifically known as Psychosomatic. So we need to address it in different way.
Simplest thing is that if you can witness everything, just watch it detached, as if it is happening to someone else, you will rise above all that hurt and trauma very quickly. But witnessing is not that easy, it takes time to learn witnessing without getting affected. If you can do that, very good, but if not, read on.
My Experience :
In mid of year 2020, I started growing sensitive, or over-sensitive. I would move to tears on slightest of things. The layers of covering on my hurt heart were being removed. Removing a thorn from wound can be painful but it is necessary. It was something like that. I didn’t do something specific for this to happen, I was just focusing on meditation, etc. I had lot of suppressed emotions, hurts, etc from childhood. Later, that year I read Osho’s thought on Catharsis and even tried a few things and it was worth it. In February 2021, all that crying and all reached to a peak. Often I would recall tragic experiences and emotions related to those would surface, for example of times when the child was badly scolded for not so serious reasons or was beaten. (If your body is beaten, even the body carries a subtle memory. Such unpleasant memories can affect a person for years. As a child, no one is resilient enough.) Later in Feb 2021, when I felt Devi’s strong presence, she helped in healing the inner child. That phase of encountering all the past was not pleasant enough but left me emotionally more balanced. As Rumi said,
You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens
Removing Hurt :
The basic thing about removing hurt is expressing it, throwing out all the garbage that is suppressed inside. Sharing our problems to someone close who hears without judging helps in similar way because all of it gets expressed, thrown out. But that’s not a feasible solution because how long will the other person listen, you have to clean your home yourself.
No use resisting it, if it is not cleared it will stink in mind. Set aside some particular time, 15-20 min or according to your convenience either in morning or evening. Close yourself in a room. Just be yourself. Throw out all that garbage in emptiness. Express it, allow it flow. There is anger, no problem, fight in air, beat a pillow, anything (obviously physically harmless), just express all that. Try making terrible angry faces in front of mirror and see, you will feel like laughing on yourself. I have done all that once, so I say from experience, you won’t go mad. But yes, if you continue carrying that poison in your heart, you will surely go mad. If you have issues with someone, you can’t just slap him in practical life, it will have repercussions. If you suppress, you are creating emotional issues. Just express yourself consciously, mindfully. Recall those unpleasant experiences, cry, speak whatever you want, try to resolve those unresolved issues. After a few minutes, it will be tired. You will feel a lightness, a silence, a peace, just sit in that peace for some time. You will feel relaxed. It won’t bother you much then. All this sounds weird but this works. It’s therapeutic. It’s medicinal, once the emotional diseases are gone, drop this practice.
After practicing this craziness for some time, slowly you will realize it’s all empty. Slowly, as the garbage is cleared, your need to express yourself in this way will reduce. Then slowly you won’t have those issues in the first place. Now, I can’t do all this stuff even for more than 5 minutes properly, that too when my mind is extremely entangled. I don’t really feel the need know. And it’s really much easier to meditate or chant with all that emotional stuff gone. Facing all that head on helped in rising above it and developing a broader perspective.
Role of Bhakti : If you share a bond with divine in any form, this clearing becomes easy. Talking out about your issues with your Isht naturally clears that garbage.
Just try it for some time and see for yourself.
P.s. – 1.) I feel like quoting Rumi once again 😅
The wound is the place where the light enters
2.) Some 20 days ago, I felt like browsing Rumi qoutes on net, read many and after a few days, this article in resources section was published. When I found that, I was amazed. I could just marvel on mysterious coincidences which occur in out life. See how things are interconnected.