Blooming in His Presence
To Everyone ,
I came to the retreat to be with him in my time of crisis and turbulence and it turned out to be the most beautiful days of my life. He is my Guru. I see my mother, father, friend, mentor, advisor, everything in him. A home is set-up wherever He goes. I feel I have come to my long lost home. He is my maika ,my sweet home. This is where I have to come finally, “to HIM”, I feel. I was given everything I required. What more could have I possibly asked for? Here it comes though.
The Retreat was once again wonderful in many ways .The discourses, question-answer (q/a) sessions, the meditation, the aura, practically everything was spiritual and mystical. I got almost all my questions answered without me asking them in the q/a sessions as they were asked by many sufferers around. I felt I was not alone and also I got a different perspective to deal with my issues, with a different understanding and a different mindset. As Swamiji says “if you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results.”
Big or small, any issue, personal, material, worldly, spiritual, esoteric, financial all the questions were answered by Swamiji honestly, briefly and yet to the point. In between the q/a there was humor, laughter, stories, all coated with knowledge, obvious or hidden, someway or the other, you will get the message. The group was focused. There was awareness in the air. I felt a wonderful emotion of togetherness, as if on a mission. SAHNABHAVATU.
I had many questions in mind, personal questions, too many to ask in a private meeting of few minutes. After every q/a I would end end up getting answers to questions that were bugging me for long, without asking. Doubts were getting cleared as if the slate of my mind was getting cleaned so that something meaningful could be written on it. Some of the answers came so precisely as if Swamiji were reading my mind. Did He? I don’t. I know. For personal meeting I had practically nothing on my mind to ask.( I handed him a letter ,a pulinda of all my worries,which I have written earlier though.)
As if a Divine plan, the weather was playing it/s own role. At times it was so beautiful, assisting all of us in keeping a serene mood altogether throughout the retreat.The magnificent Ganga, the mountains, the clouds, the mist and the rain. I could see a small white temple almost in clouds, at the far end across the river. The sun hiding and shinning behind a veil of clouds, it was heaven on earth indeed.
We were in God,s abode for sure and I found my joy in Rangoli of flowers. Thank you Swamiji. Forms emerged surprisingly with ease. One day it was Om then Shiva the other day and then Shakti, the divine mother when my mother came to meet Him on the last day. On the “Om” day, Swamiji sang “ ghoonghat ke pat khol ”; the lyrics asking to unveil the curtain of ignorance. That,s what it is all about – to unveil. Ram is already there.
The other day I was missing my daughter.She had made beautiful rangoli in children retreat. I started making her face. Trying to put a small bindi in forehead and few rose petals dropped from my hand and fell in spindle form ; a Trinetra ! I thought, it’s Shiva day. I followed my instincts and Lord Shiva with His Trinetra (third eye ) and Ganga trapped in His beautiful matted locks came alive in flowers. That evening Swamiji sang “Chandrashekhar-Chandrashekhar “ and other bhajans devoted to Lord Shiva.
The other day Dr Ravi,my husband, was assisting in Rangoli and ended up making a round bindi of the third eye. I got the message. It was “Maa” day. My mother was standing there when “Maa” emerged in Rangoli. That evening we all sang “Amba Parmeshwari”. A devi stuti in Kannada and two other songs dedicated to mother Divine were sung by Swamiji’s . Thank you for making me an instrument of this big saga. I am grateful. Ways of nature are strange. Picking up of few signals and the stage was laid ( you operating in me). Too much for co-incidence I feel. Was it scripted too? May be I think too much .Prabhu knows better.
Kirtan was wonderful as always .Swamiji taught us how to meditate. He said –“I am giving you the most effective, surest, highest method of meditation I know and I have practiced. You are bound to get results once you practice it sincerely.
On the closing day He said “ It’s not what I am saying is making the impact ; it’s My Presence, that is making The Impact”. I um unable to explain it in words .you got to be there to feel it yourself. It was truly HIS PRESENCE.
I am reminded of –
“My journey has just begun ,
I have a long way to go.”
I know one thing for sure though.
The nector is –
“ TO BE.
OM SWAMI ”
This post was originally published on Swamiji’s fan club website which no longer exists, to know more about that, refer to my intro part of the archives series here.
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