Posting this after being Inspired by reading Swamiji’s article named Eight Stages Of Anger and also after reading Komal Ji’s Article named Expectations: The little devils behind our anger. (I don’t know how to tag, I don’t even know if the articles are tagged, please search and do read them, both the articles are simply mesmerising.)The whole article isn’t about anger per say, but it has some indirect relation to it. Hope you all read it till the end and share your reviews and ideas in the comments. So first a small poem which I recently wrote in my college poetry writing competition, I expounded on it later and here I am posting it.
How can I be innately free?
Why do I desire every day to be free?
Why is the inherent calling asking me to simply be?
What kind of life am I being asked to create?
Why is my soul not ceasing to hesitate?
You have done everything as per what the society said,
What they call as success is but a way to become a living dead,
Life is a race to be lived for them,
Whereas it is something to celebrate till the end of Zen!!
Celebration can only happen when you are free,
And you can only be free when you see and simply be,
It’s not about becoming happy and free,
For how can a tree which is already a tree want to be a tree?
We chain ourselves and cage each other in our own expectations and limitations,
We are the culprits for our own joyful cessations,
People want to be free from troubles and live in their distinct tiny joyful bubbles,
Not realising their boundless inner infinity’s reflection which is worth observing even through NASA’s telescope Hubble!!
Somewhere we all know that being free externally, ie being free of laws, social stigmas, stereotypes etc, is not completely in our hands. But being free of anger, hate, bitterness, greed and other vices is completely possible if one is responsible enough, there, no external factors play a deep crucial role.
This particular poem and its explanation is not to invoke a philosophical curiosity rather it is to shed light on the practicality of what I mean to say. Many a times when I talk to my friends about this topic they simply tend to change the topic. No one is ready to take the responsibility of the things which personally limit them and keep them from living life joyfully and peacefully. I have realised we as human beings have a natural tendency to expect everyone around us to change and better themselves but when it personally comes to us, we refrain from even accepting the fact that we have behaved in an emotionally irresponsible manner and often quote our denial with the expectation that our close group of friends and relatives are obliged to tolerate our misbehaviour. When we don’t want to move out of our comfort zone and when we see our close ones react to our misbehaviour, we often say, “This is the way I am, accept me for who I am or go away. It won’t be my loss anyways.”, this misconception of acceptance is quite prevalent among many people and young minds.
In my limited and constricted knowledge, I feel acceptance is about understanding why a person behaves in a particular manner and then asking them to look and see how much amount of damage is that behaviour really causing, ofcourse in a polite manner. I have learned it is better to ask people to develop rather than to change, as the word ‘develop’ doesn’t foster rejection but a sense of expansion for their own good. It is difficult to stand up and tell our closest ones about what hurts us, at times in the state of love a state of tolerance and compassion surely develops but I feel we should speak when their behaviour starts leading them towards a path where they are going to be subjected to more harm than good.
Through this poem I simply mean to request that when you free yourself of anger, hate, bitterness and other heavy emotions you are indirectly making space for joyfulness and happiness. Being innately free is way much more practical because we are the creators of our lives. Let’s say I talk to you about trying to control your anger, I have talked about this with many of my friends when I have had deeper discussions related to life, when I tell this they often think that by asking them to control their anger I am indirectly telling them to stop expressing their anger and simply gulp it down or in other words repress it.
But, when I ask you to control your car when you are driving it, I don’t expect you to stop the car in the middle of the road; I expect you to drive the car more carefully and responsibly. In the same manner when it comes to anger and letting your anger go, I simply mean for you to develop a healthier and responsible way to express your anger, and that can only happen when you let go of your anger, and how do you let go? You let go by simply questioning your anger, taking some time and space and finding a better way to communicate your needs, expectations, conflicts and wounds to the concerned person. For in most cases it is not our anger that we want to express, but our inner vulnerabilities.
Today the primordial focus and definition of ‘SUCCESS’ is material in nature, it depends on how much money, property and how many cars and bikes does one own. The fact is we all youngsters idolise people on the same basis. We all want to keep our bank balances full of money, our garages full of luxurious cars, our minds full of dreams and aspirations but no one pays the ultimate heed to keep their hearts free of bitterness, minds free of anger, tongues free of foul words and perception free of rigid judgements.
Here I go, now I will talk a little more philosophically. If the universe is boundless in nature and I am a part of this universe, then there is a scope of having a small reflection of this vast boundless infinity within me. It is talked in many different ancient books by many scholars and teachers. They say that the human soul is full of joy and bliss and the one who is self-realised experiences this state of equanimity and joy, that is why the sentence,
“It’s not about becoming happy and free, For, how can a tree which is already a tree want to be a tree?”,
you cannot be happy when you are happiness and joy in itself, you can only REALISE it and one of the strongest and most potent ways to realise this is through self-purification, mindfulness and responsibility of one’s choices, decisions, emotions and actions.
In this particular state of being, it isn’t like you don’t experience sadness, anger or any other heavy emotion, you do, but you don’t lose your equipoise. It’s like when a mosquito is sucking your blood, you realise that 99.5% of your body is unharmed, is the 0.5% really potent to disturb me or hamper my inner peace? Well just in case, this is not to be taken literally, otherwise it will be a problem if the mosquito is a female Anopheles mosquito. (One which causes malaria.) A very stupid analogy I know, but practice Ahimsa okay? Apply Odomos. (Not a promotional post, XD)
In better words, it is a state where when life gives you a hundred reasons to give up, you try to find one reason to hold up instead. By the way this solely happens through deep practice of gratitude. It is a state of freedom and it exists only because of an inherent sense of detachment. Detachment isn’t always about renunciation, it is just the innate realisation that everything external to you is temporary and so is the happiness and sadness coming out of it. It is about reminding yourself, “This too shall pass.”, it is celebrating happiness and achievement with a sense of humility and gratitude and not with pride and arrogance and in the end it is about finding balance by resorting on hope, faith and being responsible of what is in our hands during our tough times.
Thank you so so much everyone for reading till here, my first essay kinda post on this platform, feeling really good and happy sharing my experiences and my limited knowledge with you all. Have an amazing day ahead everyone!! Grateful to the Universe and Swamiji and everyone on this platform. Keep Going, Keep Growing, Keep Glowing, this is all I wish everyone, its an amazing day today!!