I started meditating quite a few years back , but didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I had a vague idea of becoming some kind of a spiritually accomplished person, but was I going anywhere? Finally I concluded that I should have no reason to believe I made any progress at all.
Thereafter, I came across some yogic processes which I practiced for some time. As a result, whenever I sat for meditation, I had a cannabis like mild trance, which could keep me engaged for a while. Initially it looked something great. After a few days I realised that this was of no great consequence at all. I remained the same old idiot even after those meditations. No self-transformation, no wisdom, nothing.
At this point I came in touch with Om Swami’s books and blogs about meditation. A little study of those writings of the Master brought me the clarity I needed. Now I have some idea about what should be good and correct meditation. What I should look for as a result or achievement.
I am yet away from the stillness of mind, which I aspire. But at least I know I am in some meaningful path which is most likely correct. I can also see a few signs of progress, as defined by Swamiji in his blog “eight signs of progress”. But it is a long long long way. I am only in the first mile
I do miss the personal guidance from the teacher/Guru. But that is the best that is now possible in the time of pandemic.