Genuine people usually have nothing to hide, except that they don’t quite share everything either. They state things as they are, which however doesn’t mean that they become brutally honest.
Unless we are actual saints, there is little use in pretending that we love everybody.
So, for instance, when we are genuine, we don’t have to pretend to like people whom we dislike. But we do not hurt them either and we definitely refrain from hurling abuses at them. Being genuine means that we respect all humans equally and only utter words and compliments which we truly believe are true. We remain true to ourselves.
If, for example, we slightly dislike someone, I am pretty sure that not everything about them is bad. Perhaps they have a nice smile, or have some great achievements under their belt, or cook very well, or have a very well organised home, etc. What I mean to say, is that not everything can be negative about everyone.
But if it is, as the saying goes: ‘if you have nothing nice to say, then you better keep quiet!’. Being genuine, however, doesn’t only apply to compliments or small talk, it is as relevant in our daily lives.
The consequences of being genuine
When being genuine becomes our priority, we almost become allergic to lies, gossips and fake praises. Something strange then happens in our lives – nature starts making space for us. No, no, I don’t mean that we’ll never get stuck in traffic again. What I mean is that our inner and outer worlds become free of clutter – mental clutter, physical clutter and societal clutter. We have less to worry about and our physical surrounding is also a reflection of our mental space.
As for societal decluttering, people in our lives start getting replaced, if in the past we were surrounded by gossip kings and queens, we now sip our coffee in the peace of solitude instead. People who no longer resonate with us, and vice-versa, gently leave our surroundings joyfully (or not) and the societal clutter in our lives dissipates. We no longer spend our time faking thank-you’s to others for their non-authentic compliments.
Our life is then spent for a higher purpose, in genuinely helping others and helping ourselves. A burden is lifted off our shoulders, we live in our pj’s and we no longer wear any mask, of pretence (no, not the coronavirus mask, we should keep wearing that one). And I quote what, our most amazing, wise-beyond-words and Divine, Master, Om Swami, said (here):
Living in pajamas means being yourself.
When I look back at incidents of the past whereby I met people whom I was not fond of, I realise that I never paid them any false compliments or uttered untrue words in their presence(or absence). I, however, stayed true to myself and only said what I meant. And strangely enough, I have been described as ‘a genuine person’ by these very people.
When we are genuine, nature also helps us in our endeavour, and conversations flow away from mundane and useless lies. Instead, we end up talking about facts and circumstances, or we sit in silence.
There is no longer any picking or choosing friends and foes. They all get the same amount of jokes, compliments and attention from us. Flowery words are no longer part of our vocabulary and every word we utter comes straight from the heart.
And another beautiful thing is that we start becoming mysterious to the world. They try to find out more about us, but what they see is what they get.
The subtle art of being genuine…
It isn’t always easy to figure out whether we are genuine or not as there are many underlying subtle mind-currents to it. We are often genuine as per our convenience. If, for instance, the other person can be of some benefit to us, we are naturally more prone to be nice to them. The question is: are we then being true to ourselves? We often compliment others simply to appear nice or show care because it is the ‘right’ thing to ‘do’.
Being genuine requires mindfulness and fearlessness. The mindfulness that we shall not utter words which we do not mean. And the fearlessness that if we are true to ourselves and refrain from hurting others, nature will always be by our side.
If we take a hard look at our inner world, we may even uncover our common behavioural patterns and realise that all our actions have a layer of pretence to them. We’ll often behave in an overly nice manner to people whom we deem to be in a higher position than us. But it does not have to be that way.
The secret to being genuine…
I figured out a little secret. A secret that can help us be genuine in all circumstances. When we add a touch of humour in our daily lives, we manage to get away genuinely from all situations. It doesn’t mean that we start laughing at others or blurt out jokes and end up embarrassed. Not at all. On the contrary, when we stop taking ourselves so seriously, laughing at ourselves becomes our second nature, be it in the company of friends or of enemies (not that any of us have enemies…).
But on a more serious note, being genuine simply requires us to take a few moments to think about what we are about to say and whether we really mean it. And if we have nothing nice to say, a smile goes a long way. And if we cannot smile in a genuine manner, let’s remember to laugh at ourselves.
When we are sincere, we may perhaps end up less talkative and with only a handful of real friends. Beautifully though, the few words we utter end up having much more impact than a thousand flowery words and the people around us value the silence we have to offer.
Now then… am a bit tired of the word genuine. Genuinely!! Jokes aside, I hope you enjoyed reading!