Its been years since i have been reading and listening to the spiritual material and attending such gatherings off and on. And all through those years I was under a powerful impression that i have sorted out what spirituality is all about. To me those indulging in rituals, vrat-upvaas and other karm-kaand were all wasting their time and energy. Intellectuality was the only thing that could impress me. Logical explanation was what I understood and accepted. But……… how ignorant I was!!! Little did I ever realise that my place in the queue was far behind than many,whom I, inside my own mind, had labelled as ” merely religious, illogical, worldly…. materialistic…. full of attachments…… show off…….. and what not!!!!
One thing, though, used to attract me very much, and that was melodious singing/chanting of God’s names and bhajans. I used to enjoy such sweet melodies and Lord’s name “HARI OM” was my anchor, day in and day out. Today I fully understand that mere chanting His name and calling Him in bhajans attracted so much Grace that one day, in 2014, Swamiji unfolded Himself in front of me on YouTube. And……, and after that there was no looking back…, as is the story of every devotee. Swami ji showered His Grace in abundance, so much so, that the past efforts of almost 25 years couldn’t take me anywhere when compared with these 5 years under HIS umbrella.
Life has been going on at its own pace, sometimes tough, many times tougher and once toughest for one complete year. The one and only act which has been consistent all through from my side is that i keep walking….. sometimes slow, sometimes even slower… Yet I did not stop walking on the path.
The grace started showing up, and from last year, i started many acts “first time in life” which i just could not ever initiate despite so called 25 years of reading and listening…….😊😊 . These are such simple acts that one would wonder how come this person is even saying that she was spiritual 🙃🙃🙃. To share a few here, are – celebrating guru purnima at my home, by inviting friends, although at a very small scale, doing small yagya at home, visiting an NGO with daughter to spread some love, some monetary donations here and there, celebrating diwali with children at a nearby Govt. Hospital. All these were merely thoughts and plans in my mind, which i used to dream and cherish that one day it would see the light of practicality. Such is the power of Grace that all dreams become reality. On your own, taking even smallest of small step may become a burden.
The magnanimity of grace has been widening ever since. Recently I have come across Lalita sahastra namavali. Some of you may wonder as to how come so late!!! I myself have been wondering as to how come Maa didn’t unfold HERSELF before!!!! Then the answer comes – Grace comes at its own pace. Its only when the devotee is ready, that Maa would show up🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️.
Mere reading lalita sahastranama and listening to its commentary has been a mesmerising experience. Neither mind can narrate it nor words can explain. Its pure divinity. An entire new dimension of spirituality is getting unfolded. It seems, and I do feel it so clearly, that Maa has taken over everything from me in literal sense. To narrate one very clear and powerful happening –
Since past few months, I have started to enjoy being a mother of two very sweet daughters, who are now 30 and 19 . Yes, its only now, after 29 years of being into the role of a mom, that I actually can relate myself to all those high-fly qualities a mother, especially an Indian mother, is expected to have by default, as soon as she gives birth to a new soul. She has to be the epitome of sacrifice, love, devotion, wisdom, seva, and what not. I hardly had any such quality. All through my role as a mom was out of a sense of duty only, without much feelings, bhaava, emotions, so to say. Its the GRACE showered by MAA and MAA only that this mom is also now a mother in its true spirit. MAA…….🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️such a profound word and world in itself.❤️❤️❤️
All worldly responsibilities are still there yet the burden has vanished, and all pains are still intact but suffering has vanished. This, surely , is GRACE.❤️❤️❤️❤️
Looking back at my life journey with a contemplative bhaava has been very useful in helping me tread the right path, towards right direction, with right type of steps. All this is simply Grace. No logic works here. And if someone as dumb and fallen as me has become worthy of HIS GRACE, then everybody else can also experience this divine happening sooner than later.
Just keep walking….😊😊😊😊. It, really, is worthwhile.
May Swami ji keep showering His Grace on one and all.
Jai Shri Hari