“I have had to experience so much stupidity, so many vices, so much error, so much nausea, disillusionment and sorrow, just in order to become a child again and begin anew. I had to experience despair, I had to sink to the greatest mental depths, to thoughts of suicide, in order to experience grace.” ― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

For an year and a half, I kept on wondering why I had to go through that pain and suffering and wished if I could undo what I did. My heart ached and my grief had taken a toll on me. There were nights when I used to suddenly wake up and cry. I felt choked and suffocated. I could not share my feelings with anyone for the fear of being judged and ridiculed. But when I read these lines I could think of noone but Swamiji. All of it transpired because I had to meet you. It was your leela, Oh Lord! 

I cried like anything in my meeting with you and said I did a terrible mistake and you very lovingly replied “Galti toh sab karte hain. Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh sabne ki hain. Jab bhavisya sundar hoga toh purana sab jo tha usse fark nahi padega. Dharti par ye ek aisi jagah hai( Sri Badrika Ashram) jahan par aapko sirf pyaar milega. Om Swami never judges. Relax and take a chill pill.” I melted down at that very moment. I looked into your eyes and all I could see was love, kindness and compassion. You accepted me with all my flaws Swamiji. Thank you for helping me come out of my darkness. You gave me strength to cope up with everything. You helped me overcome my guilt. I cannot put into words what I feel for you. Just want to say, Thank you for being born, Prabhu!!!

Thank you for everything you have done,
your hard work and sacrifice for everyone.
Thanks for everything you continue to do,
but most of all thank you just for being you.
Thank you  for taking time to care,
we really appreciate you always being there
at those times when we feel we really need you;
you never leave us wanting, always come through.

Thank you for being constantly strong,
for being such a rock when things go wrong,
for making time for us, for always listening,
to the myriad of problems we constantly bring.
Thank you  for calming our fears,
for soothing words, for wiping our tears.
Thank you for never letting us give up hope;
for convincing us repeatedly we can cope.

Thank you for your guidance as we move along,
for teaching each one of us right from wrong,
for encouraging us always to do the right thing,
for the moral compass that guides our everyday living.
Thanks you for your calmness, your infinite patience,
Thank you for providing us with everything we need
for believing in us, giving us the tools to succeed.

Happiest birthday to the coolest and dashing papa. You are my DP.  What can I give to the one who is the emperor but I will try to be a better person. I will be more compassionate, more kind, more generous. I will try to be imbibe your teachings and put them into use.  I hope to make you proud one day Papa.