The following story is of a close school freind Aarti and her husband Ravinder! Aarti gave me a call all excited as soon as we gave our Graduation exams and were waiting for our results with confusion of what next! Her marriage had been fixed with Ravinder Rana an only son with a sister of a financially 20 times richer patwari in outskirts of Delhi.The boy was a registerar in tehseel and non alcoholic, non smoker and a body building addict with most simple eating habits as claimed by his family and later confirmed to me by Aarti too. The daughter of a retired simple government clerk and a simple mother Aarti was quiet satisfied with the no dowry and non greedy match.Infact Ravinder s only sister had got married just 15 days before them and there was no responsibility Ravinder had to fulfill other than upkeep of himself and Aarti in his father owned house where they would stay alone as a couple as Ravinder s father was posted in Haryana and had a own house there too! Aarti was always a jolly ,extrovert and socially amicable girl with above average study records and average house hold management skills aswell an elder sister already married in Canada! We were very happy for Aarti for getting married in a dream house ! What do any one s parents see in marriage of a daughter..non greedy educated nuclear family, healthy and financially independent boy with least liabilities and responsibilities and similar cast ,languages, culture and a humble own house and financial stability. Ravinder had it all. We ( all school freinds) attended Aarti s marriage which her father did to best of his resources. We met Aarti 6 months into her marriage once at her moms place and were shocked to see the plump and sweet looking face into a pale bony structure with faded suit and a 6 month pregnancy. When another school freind and i asked her how s she doing she had a sob story to tell , her out of station living mother in law had moved with immideately after marriage getting pregnant Aarti to teach her basic family values and house chores and cooking their style.Being financially capable too they had not kept any house help for basic brooming, mopping, dishes and water supply in there house being not regular they had no washing machine. Even not taking any dowry but having no a.c ,inverterr, mixi which all Aarti s parents had she was horrified by the life style of so claimed rich and educated inlaws. But this is a life style change we consoled her ,all families function differently and we cant compare or comment on whats right and whats wrong. Is there behavior good with you ?we asked ,at this Aarti started sobbing and said at each fight even like having dust on fridge top or keeping a hankercheif near drawing room phone or walking with shoes or slipper making a sound her husband hits and bangs his head with remote of t.v or his hands violently and threatens divorce.Even his parents dont intervene and rather blame Aarti for instigating there sober and good habbit son.Why dont u divorce him Aarti we asked surprised? You are still young ,educated and skilled and your parents have enough for your basic needs! At this Aarti said i got pregnant the very first month of marriage aswell to transfer lakhs of rupees in my name in joint accounts and lockers my inlaws and husband made me sign at various documents, even blank papers as they might use it in out of station accounts or shares my father in law buys in my name.What if they use those writing something against me?Whats your parents take on this we enquired,at this Aarti s parents said talking to us on dining table lunch of hot karee chawal..they never physically hit her ,she is secured financially and the mother in law and sister in law also mop the floors ,wash utensils and do dishes themselves so thats there life style as well Aarti s pregnancy is so advanced that she can’t get an abortion now aswell we have confirmed she has a female child ,both she and her girl will have to face 100 wolves outside marriage if she quits, on top of that they r in position where police and lawyers are by there side, neither we have energy, money ,health and fighting skills to ever counter them ! It was a very sad state and whenever i talked to Aarti even after she got a daughter her talks akways consisted of her husbands screaming, abusing and own head hitting sessions at a smallest disagreement or anger aswell ever threats of Divorce.Aarti has 2 kids now who are teenagers ,the husband has mellowed down quiet a bit and doesn’t trouble Aarti atall with food preprations aswelll he was magnanimous enough to get Aarti s mother to stay with them when Aarti lost her father taking no interest in the small house Aartis mother owned. He has kept good house helps for Aarti aswelll takes great care of financial security of his kids. He had never got bad habits of drinking, smoking or womanizing aswell was always a gymmer and temple visitor each day ! Patience ,persistence ,surrender or Indian society conditioning? What do you think freinds of Aarti s struggles ,life ,desicions?

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