This post is not to offend anyone and is written purely for fun. So enjoy it.
Are you that poor life who is squeezed and crumbled between the never-ending demands of your mother and wife? Do you feel like the rope in the tug-of-war game, being constantly pulled as someone’s property from both the sides? Is your family melodrama so annoying that you feel like breaking free and fleeing away?😭 Then my dear friend, this post is certainly for you; it will surely release a few of your troublesome problems.
Let’s first think of this: Are you constantly preaching to your wife as to how she should behave with her in-laws? Does your wife really needs this advice? She gets it all free on social media. She does not need it at least from you. Also the entire family, relatives, neighbors, well-wishers are all there to remind her that one day she too will become old👵and should do good karma to her in-laws to get back some good returns.🎁
Your wife knows it is not possible for your parents to change their behavior at this age. It’s difficult to transform habits so late in life.👴👵 I am not claiming that their habits or conduct is bad; it is just new and unknown to your wife, as she is exposed to something she was never aware of. And mind you some of their unbearable habits will never leave but will worsen with age and nothing can be really done to stop it. One needs a strong heart to face it.
I know this is quite distressing for you, especially when you come back home after a busy day; and your wife waits to take out all the frustration on you. But she wants you to simply listen and not react. I will tell you one secret. I can understand you are tired but you need to do a bit of acting here. Yes, there are many things you will have to learn after marriage and one is to become a good actor. At least pretend you are hearing. You actually need not be listening at all. Just pretend. But beware, she might ask you questions. Just say sorry, ‘I was a bit distracted’. Once she empties everything out, she will be ok. I know it is difficult after a hectic day, but then your happiness is in your hands.😂😂
And look at her with those caring eyes. You might be thinking of something completely different at the back of your head. Your cricket match, or the next picnic spot, with your buddies. But give her that compassionate look. Show that you understand her. Again, you’re acting skill in action.😂
Learn to nod your head many times. Yes, marriage teaches you to be a cow, who constantly nods its head.🐮It is tough to agree; but when she tells you her problem, just nod. Again, you don’t actually have to analyze what falls on your ears. But at least for some time stay away from your mobile, laptop, and the other things that you cherish. After all, you are sharing a joint responsibility.
Remember, your wife was not raised by your mother; she has come from a completely different background. A different upbringing. How will she so easily forget what she has learned at a mother’s place for the last 20-30 years? Those lessons that she received during her formative years are difficult to forget so instantly. Her habits are deep-rooted and expecting her to reform overnight is weird, right?
Your wife might be a working person or a homemaker. Whatever it is, she is having her own problems and pressures. She has to look after the house, kids, their studies etc, etc. The responsibilities are huge.
And don’t forget the hormonal imbalances. Those mood swings which are absolutely not in her hands. She won’t remain forever young; she is also aging.
But she is asking merely for your listening ears and compassionate eyes.
And are you thinking of fighting with your mom, or spoiling your relationship with her, or trying to avoid or neglect her for all these reasons? Please no, your wife needs peace in the house; don’t put ghee in the fire.🔥
And if you show her that you understand her problems, trust me, she will take care of your mom better than you would do. Just listening and showing her that you care for her troubles will grant her that strength.
And that grumbling once you return home? With closeness evolved between both of you, you can make her understand that she needs to give you a little time to unwind and relax once you are back home; she will surely understand.
So, is there anything else that your wife actually wants? Yes, a warm hug🤗 and a whisper in her ears that you love her👩❤️💋👨. This is THE most important thing; you actually cannot escape.
(And a tiny gift will also do. Tiny/Big??🎁 Not sure. You decide. It’s difficult to understand women, you know it.)
And what’s your mother’s advice to you? I honestly don’t know. Maybe once I become mother-in-law👵 I will share that with you. Till then you can work on this.
The post is based on my personal struggle. The daughter-in-law and mother-in-law relationship is a complicated one, and there is no single formula for the problems. Each case is unique. Hence, there will be different approaches towards handling it. In my case, I always felt that the husband should give a listening ear to what the wife has to say. This does not mean that you have to ignore or quarrel with your mother. Simply listening and showing that you understand her pain gives her so much mental support.
Image: Pexels- Azad