I am young, and I get myself into a lot of trouble sometimes. From mindless decisions to impulses. But I have also been responsible and disciplined most of the time.
Once I had a friend, I considered him a really close friend who wouldn’t leave my side o matter what. But he did leave, and he was very spontaneous in changing his people. That left me extremely heartbroken. I would miss my friend at times and would try and contact him but he would brush me off and be busy with his new friends. And the thought of it was causing a huge pain to me because he had been a very close friend and we come from the same family.
But I didn’t stop wishing good for him or praying for him. He is a very kind, warm-hearted person who would never intentionally hurt anybody, and I realised that it was just my expectations which were causing me pain.
I was angry with him for leaving me and not even considering our bond. So I tried once more and decided to meet him once, just to clarify things. However, everybody who knew about our problems warned me against meeting him because his ignorance towards my feelings would’ve caused me more pain, and seeing him fetching new people and ignoring my presence would certainly add to the pain.
But I decided to meet him anyway. I got ready, and after a while, I received a text on my phone saying he won’t be able to make it because his car broke down on the way.
My roommate, who knew everything about the situation, rejoiced and said to me that God was protecting my heart again. Firstly, by showing his ignorance towards me; and secondly, by not letting me meet him again. And, indeed it was very true.
He is a very, very kind person but he doesn’t want me in his life — it’s now clear to me but it wasn’t back then. If I had gone that day to see him, his indifference and ignorance towards me would have certainly caused huge damage to my heart, because he was that close to me.
God’s grace and protection are always there, nature protects us when we give compassion to others because it becomes nature’s responsibility to take care of us, (I feel)… As we are just doing our work, ‘human work’ of giving compassion and never judging another human.
But also, it allow others to come and go from your life. I didn’t know this at that time, but as he exits from my life he gives this lesson to me: Those who want to stay will make efforts to stay; those who don’t, why bother! Consider it His grace.