After long
I had found a home
Delicately built with love, care and connection.
In a moment
It all fell apart.
I was forlorn
The doors had been closed
Without any indication.
Even before I could imagine,
My home was gone.
Homeless I stand
In the bare sun
With my charing heart
Crumbling into black sand
Trying to hold itself tight
With the threads of Your love
But only to be shredded further apart.
I know You are watching
Watching me cry
Watching me helpless
Gently nudging me forward
Invisibly taking my care
Keeping me safe in this strange land.
Are You watching me with a smile
Or do you feel the pain in my heart?
Enjoying the play until I snap?
What kind of Mother are You?
Watching Your wailing child in silence
Or is that almost an indifference?
Can’t you tell me a few words?
Is just feeding and protecting enough
When the flood of tears refuses to stop?
Agreed that I am selfish
With a dark impure heart
Yet I have worshipped you there
Feeling your eternal presence, no matter what.
Maybe I don’t deserve Your attention
You have much bigger matters of concern
And You know I will manage somehow
Crawling through this darkness till I go blind
The pain inflicted repeatedly to hurt me deeper and deeper
Until it penetrates every cell
Leaving no room for any other emotion.
While I struggle to keep alive my love, faith and devotion.
Was it my mistake to trust and to love?
Or maybe, I have no idea what true love is.
So, it was fair on Your part to snatch it all away from me
And leave me alone.
The reality that I am forced to accept
Is Your will after all
How else could anything ever happen?
If it is a test, I accept having failed
Burnt to the ground, my ashes lay scattered.
So heavy with pain
That even the roaring Ganges cannot wash them away.
I am sinking, sinking into an bottomless pit
Still hoping You will come and pull me out
Your lost child calling You in every breath
Knowing You are listening yet silent
Desperately waiting for You to show the path
Not in silent clues, but in words
My mind is in no state to understand Your hints
I beg of You to come and say something clearly in my dreams
Maybe I am asking for too much
But then except You, what other hope do I have?
If not for the Mother,
Who else does the child has?
P.S: I kindly request you all not to write any comments on this one as I have written this solely for Swamiji. Hope you understand and thank you all for your showering love
Related Q&A
This is a fun question to help you open up:
What’s your most embarrassing moment in school or college?
My Answer:
My most embarrassing moment in school was the time I thought I won a race, but I didn’t. This was back in fourth or fifth grade, but I still remember it vividly. We had a confusing race course set up, and the whole class was racing through it. I was running with a friend, and we quickly overtook everyone else. Then, we were faced with a puzzling turn – should we take it or not? We chose not to and ran as fast as we could – in the wrong direction! So we thought we reached the finish line and took a seat smugly before realizing that everyone had ran in the right direction, and we were now well behind everyone else.
Let Momma bird answer this for you, my dear son! 😊
This was in my college first year. I had prepared for an inter-college Music Fest. My team and I had practiced amazingly well for months.
On the event day, I landed up on the stage and suddenly got gripped by stage fright. When I struggled to overcome it, I saw my father in the first-row seating. This event was purely for the students. So, I had no idea what my father was doing there. He, a music nut, probably wanted to see me sing and somehow got there. But, I got confused and panicked.
I stood for a while on stage without singing. Then, when my teammates prodded, I sang out of pitch in fear, and the whole thing was a mess.
That day, I made a fool of myself in front of hundreds of students from about 30 colleges. Not just that, I single-handedly ensured that my college got disqualified from the event.
When I returned to my college, I went from being a star singer to someone who made everyone angry! Plus, I had to walk around with this embarrassment until completion of my college.
Why just school or college, it was perhaps the most embarrassing moment of my life so far. 🤦🏻♀️🙃
My wife is suffering from a rare disease and I have started reading Hanuman Bahuk for her. Since I don't understand sanskrit, I feel like I am just speaking the words like a parrot and there is no devotion coming out. The book that I have has Hindi translation as well. Can I read the hindi translation instead of reading sanskrit shlokas. Or is it effective only when we read in sanskrit.
https://www.ramcharit.in › हनुमा...
हनुमान बाहुक पाठ हिंदी अर्थ सहित | Hanuman Bahuk Benefits Vidhi Bhavarth
Just found it on chrome.
I am very sorry to hear about your wife Saurav ji...please hold on to hope! Read out the meaning too after the shloka, maybe that way she can understand the shlok being recited. And if Hanuman Bahuk is difficult, why don't you recite Hanuman Chalisa 7 times? (Jo sat baar paath kar koi, chhuthi bandi Maha such hoi!) Every shloka of Hanuman Chalisa is a mahamantra, that is what Neeb Karori Baba used to say! Hanuman Chalisa did wonders for me. Sankat Kate mite har peera, jo sumire hanuman bal beera!
https://youtu.be/hVzM8gj8-68 👈and check this YouTube video as well...like a beautiful satsang, you can play it for your wife om a speaker or something...its so beautiful!
And in case your faith is dangling Saurav ji, here is this video.. https://youtu.be/1aCQAClNINw watch it! How Hanuman ji saved a person... this YouTube channel of 'Secret Mysteries' is replete with experiences of people who who came out of the darkest of situations by grace of our Shri Hanuman! Nothing is impossible by his grace..and I strongly believe that!
https://youtu.be/x0GlcOJbZ3o and this is the video where we can recite Hanuman Chalisa with Swamiji's voice! The beginning shlok hasn't been recorded...but the major part is!
With bhakti, things happen and with Hanumanji, impossible happens! Hanumanji represents impeccable bhakti, he was a devotee of Shri Ram!
Jai Shri Ram! Jai Hanuman!😁😁🌷
Are our present sufferings due to our past life karmas?If yes,then how to dissolve our past life karmas?Is there any sadhna or mantra which can help us dissolve them fast?
Interestingly, my mind works the opposite of what Anu (Anew) said! 😊 It's amazing to see how we're all different and unique in our own ways. And, what works for one doesn't work for another.
I keep struggling with my situation. The moment I label it as past life Karma, my mind becomes ready to accept it and deal with it better.
Thanks to Swami's guidance, I actually know my past life. During that experience, I noted that my sufferings were indeed due to past life Karma! The scriptures are all speaking the fact in that matter.
The biggest method to dissolve past life Karma is chanting the Divine's name (mantra chanting). Additionally, social service alongside being compassionate to others works magic too.
Most Sadhana (that Swami has written about) is done to dissolve past life Karma as well.
Do you people have these feelings? I know meditation helps dealing with them better, but are there any other techniques you use to get past that sulking phase? How much do affirmations work?
Hi Aparna, You are right in stating that meditation can definitely help. However, more than just sitting in meditation I find that when it comes to confronting the issues of negative self talk or low self esteem, it is essential to cultivate the quality of meditativeness in our daily lives.
I too have suffered from low self-esteem and almost a constant state of general anxiety for almost 12 continuous years, so I feel like I know a little bit about what it is like to go through this. I am also happy to say that the techniques I am sharing here hugely helped me overcome these challenges. It consists of just two steps. As with anything else in life, it won't be a quick fix, it took a hell of a lot of commitment from me but it definitely helped me, thats why Im sharing it here and It is my wish that it also benefits you. These two steps can be combined or integrated easily with other practices like sitting meditation, mantra chanting, yoga etc.
Step #1 : BECOME MORE PRESENT
Humans are unique in that we seem to have a relationship with ourselves. A bird or a tree or any other animal on Earth doesn’t have a relationship with itself like we do. For example, even the most hideous looking dog wouldn’t face a self-esteem issue. Animals are integrated creatures by default and they don't create a a secondary, mind-created ' Self Image '. Once created, we always walk with a mental projection of “ a me” and we then end up having a relationship with that image! And, often times we don’t like what we see in that image. That “image-self", we may often be in conflict with it. This is what low self esteem is all about. Most of the time, we simply take for granted without question the negative self talk generated within our minds and we don't even see the fact that one part of ourselves is pitted against another and that we are in a relationship with ourselves. Are we one or two?? Taking back control over your thoughts is the first step towards reclaiming control over your life. A good practice towards this is to bring your attention into the present moment as frequently as possible. The mind-created image of yourself or your Ego is incompatible with the present moment. If you notice, the Ego is always concerned with only two things: 1. keeping the past alive and 2. projecting fears/hopeful dreams about the future, because without them who are you?? Bringing your awareness to the present moment can break the vice like grip of the Ego.
STEP#2: ANCHOR YOURSELF IN THE NOW
So how do you bring your awareness to the now powerfully? One exercise I used to do and still do is to periodically bring my attention to my hands or feet and feel my hands/feet from within. I personally connected with this better than watching my breath. Try it, can you simply focus all your attention on your hands or feet? Doesn't have to be a huge undertaking, just for a few seconds or a min or two is what Im talking about. Bring your awareness to how it feels from the inside. You may experience the pulsing of life, it may feel like a buzzing or a tingling sensation. Become really alive to these sensations with all of your attention. Like I said, just for a few seconds or a min, but for those few moments do it with the full intensity of your awareness. Do this multiple times during the course of your day. This exercise will help you to temporarily break free from the grip of the cycle of thoughts coursing through your mind and will introduce a little meditativeness into your daily life. You can do this anywhere and at any time. The more you do it the more you will start to slowly become powerfully aware of the passing of different thoughts in your mind and you will begin to realize that you are not the thinker but the one who is witnessing the thought stream. Becoming a witness to your thoughts will hugely weaken the control the mind has over you and this will be reflected in you starting to develop a lighter attitude towards things that once used to stress you to no end.
Even if it doesn't eliminate the problem altogether, having even a tiny bit of respite is a huge relief nevertheless! 🙂
Hope this helps 🙂
It is very rare to get through a single day without coming across at least one stressed person.
So, as you've opened the question, let me ask you:
Have you developed a mechanism or your own method to deal with stress?
It could be anything: Thinking of a joke, meditating, thinking of God or just shifting your mindset.
Personally, I try to shift my focus or act on the matter, so that I choose peace of mind.
What about you:
How do you not allow things to stress you?
Hi Komal. Great question.
I used to have major stress problems. This included getting sick on many occasions when I was stressed out over something (I've gotten out of one or two annoying school plays and boring events that way, but trust me, it's not worth it). Couple things I've done:
1. Preventive measures: Why do we even get stressed? Primarily because we haven't planned out anything or because we've overplanned. The key is hitting the right balance, making sure that we are ready to do whatever we have to, on schedule for any projects, etc, but not planning every fine detail. That way, we're fine even if things don't go exactly to plan.
2. Release: Releasing stress is important because we can't anticipate everything. There will be problems, and during those times, releasing stress by means of physical activity (sports especially) or reading (especially engaging books that will pull you away from your problems). Anything that will relax your mind or release some aggression is great.
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