As I had written in my earlier posts, I’ve seen the Divine form of Shiva and Shakti, and Nature has bestowed a few Siddhis upon me. Whenever I touch upon this topic, many people immediately respond – How did the Divine manifest for you? I want it too! So, please tell me more about it.
The same question popped up yesterday. Therefore, I’m writing this impromptu post to share some details of how it all unfolded. I’ve shared it in the past, but the focus here is on the effort against the outcome.
It was 2015, and I had already known Swami for three years. In those years, my husband and I had devoted many hours to support Swami’s cause. Also, with Swami’s help and my family’s care, I had recovered from an arduous battle with severe depression. At that time, a new inner disease plagued me – I became desperate for the Divine.
Leaving my husband and son to pursue my calling wasn’t an option because I loved them too deeply for such a drastic decision. Hence, I resolved to Discover My Truth while caring for my family. Though, there was a huge hurdle here – I didn’t have the time to live a householder life alongside that of a renunciate.
The Tough Decision
One of Swami’s blogs helped me find a solution to that hurdle. After pondering upon it, I decided to end all forms of socializing. I deleted all my social media accounts and bid goodbye to everyone – including my parents. I even changed my phone number and email address to prevent people from disturbing me.
It was a tough decision that got many tongues rolling about my possible insanity! Even though my husband was in touch with some of them, our relatives and friends began alienating us. My social life hasn’t returned to “normal” even now. But, I wanted the Divine more than the world or even my life. Besides, I prefer solitude these days. So, I don’t regret my decision at all.
Anyway, back to my tale, I was a fashion addict, but I gave up shopping. To stop wasting time on my clothes, I took a cue from Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg. I wore just black leggings/jeggings with either white, black, or gray tops — most of those I bought in bulk. I also sold all my gold jewels and threw away the other accessories. Even today, I don’t wear any jewels and stick to the exact clothing choice.
Further, I gave up on movies, youtube, television, etc., and I even stopped reading books to save time. In a nutshell, it was a life focused on only two things: caring for my family and pursuing my truth.
After all of those adjustments, I managed to get some spare time. Whenever I got such free time, I never wasted a moment and used it to chant, meditate or contemplate. Time was a scarce commodity, and I didn’t have the luxury of wasting it. Additionally, even while performing mundane household tasks, I chanted continuously. The entire process was tiresome and challenging, but I was desperate for the Divine.
I must add here that I had no expectations or timelines, and I was prepared to do whatever I was doing for a lifetime or more! Nevertheless, at one point, my desperation and restlessness became intolerable.
Sensing my anguish and efforts, Swami started providing me with his support. He began appearing in my dreams routinely. At times, he gave me motivation, and at other times, he gave me some improvement tips. I did everything within my abilities to follow Swami’s able guidance. Still, my situation got from bad to worse, and I became almost dysfunctional.
Seeing my plight, my husband encouraged me to go to Sri Badrika Ashram for 40 days. Swami wasn’t around for most of my stay. So, throughout my time at the Ashram, I did nothing but chant, meditate, and sing bhajans. Over there, I even gave up on my food. But I didn’t wish to get the Ashram folks in trouble by dying there! Hence, I ate the basics required to stay alive.
On 6th February 2018, three years after I started my efforts, the Divine manifested as Shiva and Shakti for me.
After my Divine Vision, the first person I contacted was my husband. My super supportive partner was jubilant for me. Since it was my mother’s birthday, I called her as well. She was a bit confused but gave me her blessings wholeheartedly. I still couldn’t contain my joy! Therefore, I also shared the news of my vision, albeit casually and briefly, with a couple of Ashram residents.
After that day, the entire world appeared as Energy for the next couple of days. Still, doubts started creeping into my mind. How could I have gotten a Divine manifestation? Was it true, or was I hallucinating? Finally, Swami indirectly confirmed my vision on 13th February 2018.
The Past-Life Intuition
Now I had no question about the manifestation, but my doubts didn’t end there! How did I get a manifestation within three years of effort? Swami did Sadhana in the caves, and here I was, sitting happily in the comforts of the Ashram! It made no sense.
At that time, to clear my questions, the Divine gave me an intuition of my past life. I realized that I had done intense Tapasya and served the world selflessly for an entire lifetime. Also, I had played a pivotal role in assisting Swami in his Sadhana and social cause in my previous life.
Given a past life like that, it could’ve had some impact. But that didn’t do much to clear my current life’s doubts. So, my monkey mind got even more confused. Further, due to this past-life intuition, I was doubly sure that I had gone cuckoo!
Once again, Swami came to my rescue. He used mystical methods to confirm my past-life intuition, but those details are way too personal to share here.
The Final Word
That’s the truth as I experienced it. It took a tremendous amount of hard work and dedication. However, was the manifestation due to my hard work? Or was it Swami’s blessings and guidance? Maybe, it was due to Divine Grace? Candidly, I don’t know! Today, following Swami’s direction, I attribute it purely to Divine Grace.
Finally, in my view, here’s the easiest recipe to find your truth:
- Don’t waste time, and do your Sadhana sincerely
- Serve your Guru and (or) the world selflessly
- Detach from the world and attach yourself to the Divine
- Be prepared to dedicate your entire life to this cause if required
- Above all, live a kind and Dharmic life worthy of Divine grace
Om Sri Matre Namaha